Friday, August 2, 2013

Sleeping With the Enemy?

Remember when the internet first became a household word and people started meeting each other on it?  It was all so dark and mysterious and risque.  You'd hear about people finding someone online and cringe when they said they wanted to meet them in person because all you could imagine was the death and carnage that would result.

I had a friend in college who found a boy on the internet.  A total stranger.  At first, it was just email.  Then it was chatting, back before IM was a standard thing.  Then they were going to actually meet in person. 

I was really concerned for her.  He claimed he was a college boy but he could have been an axe murderer.  I forget now who flew where, but one of them flew to meet the other and their first sighting was at the airport.  She assured me that if he wasn't what he had promised, she would pretend she wasn't there for him.

I was sure that was the last I'd hear from her.

He turned out to be a normal college boy and they did this for a while and then it sort of melted away.

Years later, we now have a million dating websites and finding strangers to date on the internet is considered ok, if you use one of these "trusted" sites.  I'm not sure I could ever feel comfortable meeting someone this way, but if it works for you, have at it.

Today, we have something called Blogher.  It's a fantastic website for women bloggers and if you don't know about it, go check it out and come back.  Some people have really become household names because of it.  I'm sort of an armchair Blogher participant.

Every year, Blogher has a conference.  All of my favorite bloggers go to it and then write about who they saw and what they did.

And it makes me think of how differently I look at meeting a bunch of women strangers from how I would look at meeting a man online.

Under the auspices of going to a conference,women who have only ever chatted online will not only go to the conference, but stay blindly in a hotel room with some of these strangers, take car rides with them and maybe even get tattoos with them.  I don't remember reading any posts about women getting tattoos at Blogher, but it could happen.

My point is that I would be fine with going to Blogher and meeting the women whose blogs I read daily.  I feel like I know them so well.  They seem like so much fun. 

And they're women.

And there lies the double standard.  Because they are women, I assume they are safe and would not ransack my belongings or stab me in my sleep.

If someone said they were going to a conference to meet the man of their dreams, stay in a hotel with him, ride around with him, we'd say NO EFFIN WAY.  Even if they assured us that they had chatted online, skyped with each other, sent pictures and read each others' blogs every day.  But it's a conference meant for this, they'd say and we'd say NO EFFIN WAY.  WAY TOOOOOO DANGEROUS!

But, send that same friend off to a Blogher conference and we'd say OOOOOHHHHH I wish I could go too!  PLEASE?????  Because it's sanctioned by Blogher and it seems harmless, right?

I really have no idea where this was going when I started.  Hmmm.  I wonder what my point was.  Maybe that I have a double standard? 

I totally love the idea of Blogher and the conference and some day, I plan to go to it.  I probably wouldn't stay in a hotel room with a stranger though.  I might ride in a car with one.   No tattoos though.


  1. Valid points. My husband thought I was crazy the first year. Now he just knows it as a fact.

  2. Yes, be careful about meeting men online. You could end up married to one of them. As far as meeting up with other women you've befriended online the only thing you really have to worry about is one might steal,your baby and raise it as her own, then 20 years later you'd find out about it through facebook, providing you ever joined it, and the reunion could be one heck of a blog. So no worries there.


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