Friday, October 30, 2015

Losing My Hot Dog Roasting Virginity

Recently, it was my birthday, and while I'm not one to make it known to the world, I thought I'd share with you my story about a gift I received.

K-ster and I don't give each other much for our birthdays or Christmas.  I prefer gifts like putting together the greenhouse or putting in a new kitchen floor.  Jewelry and chocolate are lost on me.  Well, jewelry is, anyway.  Who can resist chocolate?

This year was no different, with me reminding k-ster not to even think about getting me anything for my birthday.  Making Devil's food chocolate cake is more than enough.

So, as we walked over to my parents house, he carried a large cardboard tube and insisted it was just a little something we would use.

Because he knows he has me at "practical" or "useful".

I opened the tube to reveal:

My most devoted readers will be astounded by 3 things in this picture:

a) the idea of me eating a hot dog
b) the possibility that I might go camping to eat said hot dog
c) safety.  While I never promote being unsafe, there is many a story on this blog that might indicate that safety wasn't my number 1 decision in the long list of decisions I had to make.

I'm sure everyone would know that MADE IN THE USA tag probably cancels out anything shocking in this post.

I'm a little bit of a fan of roasted marshmallows, and usually, if we have marshmallows and he has a fire in the firepit, I will get a stick, heat it up and stick a marshmallow on it to roast.  Whether or not the chocolate and graham crackers are there for s'mores doesn't really matter.  It's the marshmallow that matters to me.

K-ster recently had to buy a hitch from this company and somehow came upon the only non-towing accessory they carry and thought of me.

I'm as astounded as you are.

I don't camp.  I don't even glamp.  And the firepit is not usually my first choice in entertainment because I usually breathe in smoke no matter where I sit and then smell like an ashtray.

So, what is the big deal about the safety sticks,  you ask?  When did roasting a hot dog or marshmallow become unsafe?

Inside this nylon bag, you will find:

4 very long skewers with safety tips.  I guess too many people have been stabbed by roasting skewers in the past, so someone decided bending the tips back was much safer.

While I applaud their efforts, I now see them as "safe" swords.  The very kids who were once stabbing at each other with normal skewers or sticks will now use them as swords and jousting spears.

I figured it would be fun to blow k-ster's socks off and suggest we have a fire and not only roast marshmallows, but use these spears as they were intended:  for hot dog roasting.

I don't have the stamina at this point (probably because I consumed hot dogs and my body is full of poison) to explain to anyone why hot dogs are the worst thing I would put in my body, but suffice it to say, this is like a once a year event.  All of the good eating I do most of the time should cancel out all of tonight's damage.

Because not only did I eat fire roasted hot dogs, I also resorted to store bought rolls and canned beans.

And then I ate some s'mores.

If I even wake up tomorrow after a night of those foreign chemicals floating around in my body, it will be a miracle.

K-ster made a lovely fire and we had just the right temperature and no wind.  We skewered our hot dogs and held them over the heat and flame, wondering how long to keep them there.  I was a little impatient and bumped my hot dogs on a charred log, so I had a little burned action going on.  K-ster was better but I think he's done this before.

I was a hot dog roasting virgin until tonight.

And I'm still no pro.

K-ster called it a night way before I did, so I was a one man band for the s'mores making and eating.

It seemed a little silly to only roast 2 marshmallows on such long spikes, but I wasn't going to eat that many s'mores by myself.  If you were making a lot, these would be great for a crowd.

K-ster also suggested we could roast shrimp this way.  A possibility, yes, but pretty unlikely.   It would make for a fun party trick, though.

Linking here:

1 comment:

  1. I've never seen roasting skewers like that before. Interesting. My kids would actually love roasting hot dogs and smores on pretty much


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