Saturday, April 5, 2014

Tales of A Fourth Grade Something

Do you remember the book Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing?  I think it was Judy Blume, but I'm too lazy to go look it up.  I think that was one of the few titles of hers that I didn't read.  I really liked her books but something about that title turned me off.

Or maybe I read it and forgot about it.  I read books like it was my job before I was in high school, so I have no idea what I read and what I saw on shelves over and over again but didn't bother to read.

Then I got to high school where I was forced to read books I did not enjoy and I put reading on hold for a while.  I thought I couldn't read two books at once and keep track.

I knew nothing about multitasking in high school.

Today, I read a bunch of books at once, a few magazines at the same time and I have a book on tape I'm always ready to listen to on my ipod.

It's no wonder I have no idea what's going on.

But, today's post isn't about books.

It's about 4th grade girl shenanigans.

Do you picture leprechauns when you hear the word shenanigans?  I think the leprechaun should be the shenanigan mascot because I can't hear one without seeing the other.

So, I do a thing called Walking Club one day a week, last period of the day.  I was sort of swindled into doing it, but it's fun and I get to walk and overhear hysterical conversations.  If they had realized all they had to say was walk and eavesdrop, they could have had me doing this from day one.

Anylistening, we have a HUGE group of kids, so they keep enlisting adults to help supervise so it's more like a 20 to 1 ratio instead of 150 to 1 or whatever it was at the beginning.  We go out to the track and the rules are simple:

Walk or run.
Be respectful of which lanes are for running.
Keep your hands to yourself.

And for the most part, they are really good about that.  The best part is that they are free to run or walk without having to stay with a teacher and we can see everyone at once because we are all out on the track.  I wander around, sometimes with kids, sometimes alone, and I come upon great conversations.

Mostly between boys, about Minecraft or some other video game.

And I still laugh when I see kids talking and then, out of nowhere, they go running off like it's the most important race of their lives, mid sentence.

This week, I was treated to a walk with two girls who did.not.stop.talking the entire 40 minutes.  And, unlike most kids, when I walked away to deal with someone, they actually found me again and still.kept.talking.

Their stories were pretty entertaining and ran the gamut.  They clearly had diarrhea of the mouth.

So, they told me of their new plan.

"Mademoiselle Sparkling," one of them said, grinning wildly "we have a new thing we do.  We PAY boys to chase us at recess!"

"You pay them?  With what?"

"Money.  75 cents."

"Oh girls, are you sure that's the best use of your money?  Why do you have to pay them to chase you?  You're going to have boys chasing you all your life.  Why don't you just chase each other and save your 75 cents?"

"Well, we like them to chase us."

"Well, I think you will probably end up in trouble for that, so you probably shouldn't pay people to chase you."

"Ok, that's probably a good idea."

Minutes went by, a hundred stories were told and then they got to the bottom of their plan.

"And see," said the leader of the pair, "when we want them to stop chasing us, we know what to do.  We have this Purell that smells like flowers and they are afraid of it, so we just take it out and they stop!"

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm...................wait, so you pay them 75 cents and then when they do what you want, you scare them away?"


Glowing.  They were simply glowing with the perfection in their master plan.

"Girls, I think that might be illegal.  It's like you're luring them into a trap, isn't it?"

"Well..... kind of...."

"Yeah, I actually think that's illegal.  I think you could really get into trouble for that!"

"Ok, well, we haven't actually started paying them yet.  It's something we just thought up."

"I'm going to suggest that you stay away from that plan."

"Ok, we won't do it then.  So you wanna hear about my mother's bird that does this crazy dance in the washing machine?  Like this?  Wanna hear it???? Wanna?  Huh?"

"Oh gee, look at the time girls.  Buses are here, gotta go.  BYE!"

These girls......

Linking here:

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