That Dress I Couldn't Get On Or Off

Summer.  

It's truly the season I live for.  I crave the longer hours of daylight, not freezing my tail off every time I step outside and a lighter workload than during the school year.

And with summer comes outdoor line dancing. 

I am not an avid line dancer, but I enjoy it and go when the location is right and when the timing is right.  In the summer, there are two outdoor line dancing nights that I try to go to because it's so popular, any indoor place can't keep up with the body heat when everyone gets going.  I prefer to do it outside for a bunch of reasons.

I wouldn't say I made this dress just for line dancing but I've been looking at people with cute dresses like this that twirl and swish when they're dancing, so I thought this would be fun.  Details about the dress are at the very end.

This summer, Wednesday nights are line dancing nights, but Wednesday nights are also when I ride with someone at the barn and then we close.  We are usually all closed up by 6pm and the line dancing starts at 6pm, so I figure I can get there a little late and it doesn't matter.  It's not like I'm performing, so there's no exact time I have to be there.  I'll be going from the barn, but I get so sweaty dancing that as long as I am marginally clean, no one will know the difference, right?

Putting a lot of thought into everything I should bring with me so I can sort of get cleaned up after we ride and wear whatever I'm wearing to dance, I gathered this dress, my boots, a face cloth, two hand towels and some sneakers just in case I can't get my boots on- side note, I had a Fletcher-stepping-on-my-toe incident the first night of Wednesday night outdoor line dancing and I couldn't go. 3 weeks later, my toe is better but I forgot to check and see if my foot would actually go into my boot.  If there was too much pressure on my toe, I'd just wear my cute sneakers.

Did I mention that on this particular Wednesday, we were in day 2 of a very rare heat wave that had the "feels like" temperature close to 100?  The real temperature hit 90.  We don't get a lot of outrageously hot days where I live, so this was something.  The first day was bad but somehow, day 2 was even worse.  I think it's because we were led to believe it would be slightly cooler when in fact, the day started hot stayed that way.

I thought we should just do a trail ride, maybe like 30 minutes of not stressful riding.  We'd be in the woods so it would be slightly cooler and we'd just be walking.  I brought my riding bag, my sneakers (no need to put the boots on in the barn when I could just wait until I got to the venue and put them on then) and my bag that had the dress and my cleaning supplies, all in one trip.  Sometimes, I end up going to the car 50 times and slowing everything down but I was on top of everything this time.  Wed be done by 6 and I'd be out the door soon after.

We did most of the chores before we rode so when we came back, we'd just hose the two horses down, put them in and then get everyone else.  We've been doing this for years and we're a well oiled Wednesday night closing machine.

Though the woods were slightly cooler, let's not fool ourselves.  It was still illegally hot for 5pm.  We did our 30 minutes and hosed both horses down before bringing everyone else in.  We were soaked but I was secure in the knowledge that I had a facecloth to wash myself in the bathroom and towels to dry off so I could get a little refreshed before dancing my butt off.

We brought everyone in, did all of the normal closing routines including turning on the fans that were just recently reinstalled and I headed to the bathroom to de-stink myself.  I took everything off and lathered up.  It felt so good to wash everything off.  I got out my first hand towel and dried and dried and dried, especially my arms and torso because I thought I might have a little trouble getting the dress on because I was still pretty warm.

Notice the back of the dress has that stretchy part.  If you're reading this because you're curious about the sewing part of this, instead of shirring that part, I made channels and ran the elastic through.  The stretchy part lets you in and out of the dress without needing a zipper.  And the laced part in the front lets you pull it in a little once it's on.

I ran that towel over myself one more time because I thought I was still feeling kind of damp.

This fabric is a rayon crepe which is sort of slippery but also sort of polyester feeling.  It has a lovely drape but also feels like it could really make me sweat. The top is lined with muslin because a lining is necessary to make this pattern.  The fabric itself has a slight stretch and the tiers are loose enough so they don't cling to the body.   It felt cool when I picked it up, so I was pretty sure it would slide right on and I'd be out the door to my air conditioned car that maybe would help calm my hair down a little on the ride there.

I bunched up the dress to slide it over my arms and head.  I got it mid should blade and it got stuck.  It wasn't going any further.  I tried tugging a little on the skirt tiers but it felt like they were going to rip.  So, I slid it back off.  Maybe I just needed to use the second hand towel and dry myself a little more.  While I was having this conversation with myself, I started to wish I had looked to see if the one fan that hadn't been mounted all week was still just sitting out.  I should have brough that into the bathroom with me and it would have dried me RIGHT off!

Damn.

I ran the dry towel over me and tried again.  Same thing.  Maybe I need to loosen the lacing.  I didn't think it was tight but maybe it was hanging things up.  Off it went and I loosened the lacing.  No difference.  I could feel  myself getting warm with all of this on and off business.  I wondered if it would be too weird to ask my riding buddy to help me.  Could she just maybe gently pull the skirt as I raised my arms over my head?  I thought maybe the problem was that when I was trying to pull it all the way down, my shoulder blades were spreading and that waistband was getting stuck and holding everything up.  So much for that stretchy panel at the back!

I decided it was too weird to ask for help.  Then I thought maybe I should ask her to see if the fan was there but then I would have to admit I was having trouble and I knew she would have tried to help and I wasn't ready for that.  

At this point, all of my riding clothes were on the floor and I didn't have anything I could just casually throw on to walk out there.  Surely I can get this dress on, I just need to calm down and cool off.

She walked by the door and said she was leaving unless I needed anything else and I was like "oh no, I'm all set, see you later!" with my arms over my head, my dress still stuck at my shoulder blades, feeling like I was never going to get this thing on.

Once she left, I toyed with the idea of just walking out the door with nothing by my underwear on, to see if that fan was there.  Who would see me?  Knowing my luck, ANYONE would just randomly show up at that moment, so I couldn't do that.  I left the dress stuck at my shoulders, slid my sneakers on and peered out the door.  I had to take 3 steps to see if the fan was somewhere in the aisle but it wasn't.  

It would have felt SO GOOD to sit in front of that fan for a minute.

By now, at least 15 minutes had passed.  I was irritated that now I was later than I wanted to be and frustrated that I couldn't get this stupid dress on.  I was definitely sweating again and both towels were damp.

I went back into the bathroom to try again. At least I made it back to the bathroom and no one saw me.  I took off the dress and thought maybe I could step into it.  Nope, the waistband has zero stretch and wouldn't go over my hips when I stepped into it.

Then I noticed the refrigerator.  In my first moment of madness, I actually opened it and thought I could wave cool air onto myself.  I could not.

Well, I decided, this is never going to happen. And I certainly am not going there in my riding clothes.

Maybe I can put my riding stuff back on, crank up the AC in the car and pull over on the way there when I've cooled down enough.

This seemed like a reasonable idea.  Except for putting my riding clothes back on.  They were so soaked with sweat and had now been on the floor for all of this, me standing on them to keep my feet clean.  

By now I might have been delirious, so my next idea was maybe I can leave the dress stuck where it is, tie my shirt around my waist so it hangs down and covers my butt.  No, that would leave my front exposed and I just know the second I walk out the door, someone will show up.  

There are not many people who just show up at the barn, but in my brain, a whole busload of people were going to be on the other side of that bathroom door.

In my final moment of insanity, I thought I could leave the dress half on, tie my shirt around my waist to cover my butt and tuck the two hand towels where the sleeves tied around my waist to cover my front.  Again, that busload of people might think that was weird, so I decided not to do that either.  I looked at my pants for a second wondering if maybe I could somehow drape them.

Not sure why I was so obsessed with draping.

Eventually, I put my disgusting shirt and pants back on, slipped my sneakers on because imagining my barn boots on my feet at that point was too much, grabbed all of my stuff and went to the car.

I cranked the AC, took off my pants (what are the chances I'll get pulled over and have to get out to do a sobriety check?) sat perched forward so I didn't get my seats extra sweaty and drove, hoping all of that air was going to do something.  

About 10 minutes in, I was feeling significantly drier and actually cold.

I went to pull into a parking lot where I was sure I could quickly take off my shirt and throw the dress on and it would slide right down.  And I realized it's a church parking lot and they must have had evening services because there were cars everywhere.  Don't need to be flashing the congregation.

I drove a little further to another parking lot, hoped the tint of my windows was enough to keep me hidden, threw off that sweaty shirt and prepared for the dress to slide right down.  AND IT DID!

Once I arrived, I still had to fiddle with it to get the skirt all the way down and make sure it wasn't stuck up when I got out of the car, but that was a breeze.  

The boots were fine, the dress was plenty twirly but we didn't get any good pictures of the twirl factor.  

If you remember that I originally hoped the AC was going to do something for my hair, you can see it did not.  I forgot a clip and ended up with it hanging down all night which added to the sweatfest while we danced.

If you assumed this was the end of the adventure in this dress, you must not have read the title.

After a fun night of dancing and sweating even more, it was still 83 degrees after dark on the ride home.  I could not WAIT to get this dress off and take a shower.  

It's possible I have reached an age where I am tired of fighting to get sweaty sports bras off because they always get stuck on my shoulders.  I am flexible but when I'm tired and wet, flexibility doesn't help and I just get furious.

Was I wearing a sports bra under this?  Why am I talking about them all of a sudden?  Because just like being trapped in a sweaty sports bra, I was now trapped in this sweaty dress.  

In the reverse of the evening's events, I now couldn't get this dress off.  I'd slide everything up and just as I'd get a grip to pull it that final step over my head, I'd get stuck and couldn't get it to move. Again, I wanted to pull on the skirt but I knew that would just rip everything.  

I loosened the lacing but it did nothing.

Would you believe I even thought if I bent over, maybe gravity would help?  

It did not.

For a half hour, I'd try and fail and get mad and wait, over and over.  Was it because I was hot and sweaty?  I wasn't feeling hot anymore, just wet but nothing I did helped.  The man left later than me so he wasn't home yet to help.  

Eventually, I got it high enough that I could just barely grab onto the stretchy part and I was able to scoot and shimmy and stretch it enough to get it off.

Will I continue to wear this dress to line dance?

Yes.

Will I continue to go on Wednesdays directly from the barn? 

Yes.

Will this be what I wear on those Wednesdays when I go dance after being at the barn?

Absolutely not.

If you've made it this far, here are the sewing details:

Pattern:  Cressida from Made for Mermaids for the top and waistband.  The tiers are my own doing.

Fabric:  rayon crepe in Willow Mist and Willow Lane from Waymaker Fabrics round 28.