Friday, July 19, 2013

How Do You Fondue?

I went to a French teacher's conference in Providence last weekend.  The hotel was good, a name brand that really tries.  It's a conference type hotel and they had lots of things going on.  The on site restaurant is pretty big and then they have a bar and restaurant service out at the pool area.

I spent both evenings out at the pool area because it was a decent temperature and the furniture was pretty nice.  I took some pictures but that's another post for another day.

The first evening, I was crazy enough to want dessert.  I asked the girl for the dessert menu and she said they only have two, so there was no menu.  I guess the pool service is different from the restaurant service because I had seen other stuff on a different menu.

Whatever.   I wanted a chocolate dessert.

My choices were something to do with caramel, which I don't love, and a chocolate fondue.  As she described the fondue, I was trying to imagine just what they would do.  She said there was fruit and marshmallows.  I imagined them mixing it all together in a warm melange which would have been gross, but I wanted chocolate, so I said "fondue, s'il vous plait".

I didn't really say that because she is American and most likely doesn't speak French.  Although it is New England and we do still teach French here, so that's a terrible assumption to make.

Shame on me.

She came right back with this.

Do you think that's fondue?  Because it's not.  It's Hershey's syrup.  COLD Hershey's syrup.  I kid you not.  Well, it might have been a generic chocolate syrup which would have made it even more deplorable.

Yes, that's one banana cut into large chunks, marshmallows, strawberries with their tops still on and yep, graham crackers.  Because graham crackers and marshmallows are soooooooo French.  Everyone puts them in fondue, right?

Oh, no, I guess they put them in Hershey's syrup.

It was pretty gross, actually.  And it was humid, so the graham crackers were limp.

You know when you lick Hershey's syrup off of something (like your finger) and it kind of catches in your throat because it's not really chocolate and it's just sugar syrup?  That's what it was, with banana, strawberry and marshmallow mixed in.  Very high class.

It was truly the saddest, most bargain basement version of fondue I have ever seen.

And served where there was a conference of FRENCH teachers, no less! 



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