Sunday, June 15, 2014

I Lead A Very Strange Life

So, about this time every year, I have lost my mind because: 

It's the end of the school year and those snow days I so loved are making me drag my butt into school everyday while fantasizing about not being trapped inside.

It's the time when the scholarship recipients are chosen for the ABWA chapter that I belong to here and I'm the chair, so it's a lot of work.

AND we can't forget that the annual road race that I chair also happens this weekend.

So, a true test of my organizing skills arrives every June and any sense of reality slowly slips by as June comes to a close.

Let me give you a little run down of the last 48 hours.

1.  school ends but my day does not.  It's Friday afternoon and I must teach my spin class at the gym  because I am going to be gone next week and I worry if I get a sub too many times, my little job there will be history.

2.  before I can go teach my class, I have exactly 1 hour to pick up the START flag for the race.  It was a fly by night plan I had last week.  No one ever understands where the start is because it's not visible from the registration area, so I thought I'd get one of those giant flags that everyone has that stick right in the ground and stand about 12 feet high.  This company down the street said no problem, it would be ready Friday.

Show up at 3:10 to find out that, well, you see, there's a problem.  They would DEFINITELY have it for me by 9am the next day.  Probably tonight even.  Don't even get up set because this is the year that this race is not going to ruffle my feathers.  I've done it for 11 years, everything that can happen has happened and what.ever. 

The guy shows me the special UHAUL truck outside where he will put  flag when it's done so I can pick it up and if it's not done by tonight, they will bring it to me tomorrow.  For sure.  Really.

3.  teach spin class.  Look at the girl sitting directly in front of me and know that she was a student of mine in another century.  Really, I taught in the late 90s so that is a true statement.  Sit through an entire spin class while she literally looks through me, makes no eye contact and does not answer me when I say "hey e-ster I didn't realize you were a member here!"

4.  get supper from the burrito place we must get supper from every Friday because it's good and easy and fast and on the way home from the gym.  And when we don't eat there on a Friday, I'm not sure what to do with myself.  We must not break with tradition tonight.

5.  drop off t-shirts and food for the race tomorrow, run into two women who used to sing in a chorale with me and shoot the breeze for too long.

6.  run back to the secret UHAUL truck and get the flag.

7.  eat supper and then run through the list in my head 53,000 times to make sure I didn't forget anything for tomorrow's race.  Ask k-ster if there's anything he thinks I forgot and roll my eyes because he can't come up with anything.

8.  put the flag together and stand it up on the patio to make sure it looks decent and will work and won't be so tall that we'll hit telephone wires.

9.  go to bed secure in the knowledge that everything for tomorrow is taken care of.  Find the bed to be exceptionally comfortable and the temperature just right.

10.  drift off to sleep only to be jarred awake by k-ster's phone just as I'm fully asleep.  Yell at k-ster for leaving it on and not acting fast enough.  Lay in a puddle of sweat as my heartrate tries to slow down from being awoken from the best sleep of my life.  Fantasize that k-ster's phone is now under the tires of the car I just heard go by.
11.  wake up around 3am with a weird stomachache.  Lay wondering if I'm actually sick because who wakes up at 3am to go to the bathroom like that?  Go the bathroom, sure that I will probably die because the magic burrito from #4 was poisoned and the race will have to run itself tomorrow.  Decide that I will not die, I am not sick, but don't completely rest and sleep well until it's really time to get up.

12.  get up at the usual time and debate oatmeal or nothing on my weird but not hurting stomach.  Opt for business as usual so I don't faint as I'm  handing out awards after the run.  Wonder if I am already ramped enough without tea but have some anyway.

13.  arrive to set up for the race nice and early, only to be greeted by a registrant 45 minutes early.  Grrr.  Ask him to wait until registration people show up.

14.  run around like a chicken with no head as I assign everyone their jobs and check in with everyone 50 times.  Stand like a fool while a group of people tell me they don't like my assignments and they will do their own,  see, we have it all planned out right here.  Make noises and faces and tell them that as long as those posts are covered I don't give two $hits who does it.  Ok, I didn't really say that but I am sure I was exuding that and more.

15.  have issues with not having a police cruiser and call the station to send one because if one doesn't lead the race, all hell might break loose.  Hope it arrives in time.

16.  listen to suggestions for improvement for next year's race before this year's has even started.

17.  walk the walkers to the starting line, say thank you and good luck and wish them well.

18.  run back to the registration area and check in some more while answering 500 questions.

19.  assemble the runners, cops and timing people at the start line and then stare at each other while we wait for exactly 930.  Start the runners.

20.  run back and draw names for all of the walkers who won a prize in our raffle.  Decide that the number of walkers is equal to the number of prizes therefore all walkers get prizes.  Easy math for a hectic day.  Write names on board to make it look official.

21.  eat some yogurt as I feel the mid morning blood sugar drop falling faster than a speeding bullet.  Wonder if I will actually faint as I give out the awards.  Ironic since I didn't run this year.

22.  assemble all of the medals and prize and get a little excited.  The yogurt has kicked in.

23.  give walkers their prizes as they straggle in.

24.  check on food people to make sure all is well.  Say thank you to the people whose jobs are done and send them home.

25.  give out awards.  Fantastic decision to do it inside this year.  Everyone can hear me and I do love me a mic.

26.  immediately get attacked by 4 people who have issues with times, places or names.  Direct them to the timing people who thankfully hadn't left and straightened it out.  Pull 2 extra medals directly out of my a$$ and smile and thank them 100 times for their patience.

27.  clean up what is left which magically isn't much due to an amazing volunteer crew.  Wait for 45 minutes for a woman I am going to tutor.  Discover my phone isn't working and she cancelled yesterday.  Do a slow burn as I drive away.

28.  go home and tally the income.  Be amazed that weather didn't ruin this race and we made some good cash.

29.  check email and find out that we have one more scholarship available from ABWA so I need to contact that winner too.  Email the committee and tell them I'll deal with it shortly.

30.  ride Jackson because that's what I do.

31.  come home and mow because the grass reached the elephant's eye and I'm going to be gone most of this week.

32.  cave at my strange urge for Chinese food and wonder if that's a good idea considering last night's weird stomach.  Decide it's fine since I literally have NOTHING planned for tomorrow.  Not one.single.thing.

33.  enjoy Chinese food and then have a wonderful MSG induced sleep.

34.  wake up with the craziest urge for muffins.

35. convince k-ster to go get milk so I can make muffins.

36.  while muffins are cooking, talk to my sister e-ster and decide I should go to breakfast with my parents for father's day.  Decide  muffins are for later.

37.  attend breakfast and come home with 40 plans for the rest of the day.

38.  check my greenhouse and decide two beets are ready to pick.
Marvel at how they look just like the seed packet.  Prepare them for roasting and dream about beet salad for lunch.  Warm.  With Feta.

39.  decide it's time to update my resume because I want to apply for a part time job that actually needs a resume.  Realize my resume hasn't been update since 1996.  Explore resume templates, which they did not have in 1996, and spend a long time figuring out what to include.

40.  spend more time working on resume.

41.  investigate strawberries in my garden, most of which keep getting eaten by some animal just as they ripen.

42.  decide it's time to buy bras.  It's the only chance I've had in a while where I am not sweaty or about to get sweaty and I actually have some time to go investigate.

43.  decide that since I'm going in that direction, I need to recycle and go to the grocery and I might as well stop at the Cultural Center and take down my students' exhibit that needs to come down today anyway.

44.  spend too long trying to find bras that are remotely appropriate and appealing.  Decide on a few and think it's high time I throw out my current selection.

45.  drop off recycling.  Severely injure arm on the Salvation Army metal box and wonder if I should get a tetanus shot.  Fume about doing good and getting hurt all the way to the Cultural Center.

46.  take down exhibit in less than 5 minutes and then almost drop all of them all over the parking lot.  Congratulate myself on the good save.  Wonder if anyone was watching.

47.  start making sauce for pasta and realize I don't have a can of tomato sauce.  Convince k-ster to go get some.  Marvel that he's been out twice today to get groceries without complaining.

48.  fiddle with resume and decide it's ready to upload.

49.  upload resume to application website and realize I am supposed to upload cover letter.

50.  eat supper and think about cover letter.

51.  take clothes off the line and play in the garden for a while, thinking about cover letter.

52.  write cover letter and upload to site.  Realize I must have done something wrong because it says this is the job you have applied for.  And it's blank.  Check all parts and see that they are all there.  Get to final step and see nothing listed.  Click where it says to click if you're having trouble.  Explain trouble in an email and don't dare close browser in case none of it is really there.

53.  check email and ponder going back onto a board of trustees that I used to be on. Because I need one more thing to do.

54.  realize that I am supposed to upload pictures from the race to the companies who gave me free samples.  Discover I have no pictures of people touching one of the samples, realizing that if I don't follow the rules, they won't send me any samples next year and samples at a race are a major plus.

55.  remember it's a school night and decide it's time to call it quits for the day.

Thus my fairly quiet behavior around here lately.  But I'll be back if we ever get out of school.

Linking here: 

1 comment:

  1. I didn't know you taught spin! Too bad I don't live a little bit closer.


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