Lenny

Remember Of Mice and Men?  Poor Lenny petted things to death.  So sad.  I forget who played Lenny in the movie but he always reminded me of someone I knew and that made it even sadder.

Yesterday, I met Lenny and it might have been the most exciting moment of my summer.  Probably the most exciting moment of this year. 

You can tell, right?

You can clean a girl up and stick her in a pretty dress, but she can't help it if a skunk just hops into her arms, can she?

I know most people think skunks are menaces, and I hate the bitter smell, but I have always been fascinated by their little faces!  And now that I've seen one up close, I'm even more fascinated!

I'm A-Here to Edu-ma-cate You And Stuff

Ok, I've had it.  I've been seeing this all over people's blogs and it's time for me to set the record straight. 

I can't take this ignorance anymore.

This is a rod.

This is an iron.

This  is WROUGHT iron.

I swear to God, if I continue to see people talk about the great deal they got on their ROD IRON this and their ROD IRON that, I think I will have to get off the internet.  I cannot be seen with the likes of people who believe it's ROD IRON.

Google it.  Even google knows that when you put in ROD IRON, you really are looking for wrought iron and that's where it takes you.  And though I so dislike wikipedia  because I believe the devil himself created such garbage, I do believe what it says here and I will link it up to show you it's WROUGHT IRON.

Wrought is an old past participle for work.  As in WORKED IRON.  It's been bent and mangled to shape into what it is to be used for.  It's also an adjective meaning worked into shape, beaten into shape, etc. 

So, your lovely wrought iron gate was worked into its current state of being.  Yes, it might have been iron rods in the beginning, but those rods were worked, or wrought (see, past participle of work), into the shape you wanted for your gate.

So be sure to spread this to everyone you know so I can keep my iron rods hidden and not have to beat anyone into a bloody pulp with my own wrought iron rods.

Linking up here  and here to educate the world.

Red Dress Event Flop

So, the American Heart Association had a "Red Dress Event" last night at the Cultural Center and I decided to volunteer.  I figured I should wear a red dress and was shocked that I have 3 red dresses and a red dress I wore as a bridesmaid once.  I didn't realize I had so many red dresses!

They could not find anything for me to do, so I ended up leaving the event after a half hour.  I couldn't stand around doing nothing any longer than that.  I told the woman in charge at least 3 times that I could help, what did she want me to do, etc and all she kept saying was "OK!" 

Anyuseless, I found this dress that I've had for like 100 years that I kind of had forgotten about.  I used to wear it a lot but always with a black sweater over it.  It had become somewhat loose in its spandexiness, so I wasn't crazy about wearing it like this, braless.  I wanted a little bit more support to go like this, without the sweater.

Plus, it was kind of long and I'm sort of over the long dresses these days.  Funny since those foolish MAXIPADS MAXIDRESSES are all the rage and length is apparently good. I see people wearing long, long dresses and they look ridiculous, like they are playing dress up.  Lately, I feel like I'm wearing a sack if I wear dresses that are really long.

I used to do a lot of "tailoring" of my clothes.  When I say "tailoring" I put it in quotes because it is in no way anything scientific or professional.  It was always "hmm, if I do this, I wonder if it will do this" and then some great things happened and I had some clothes that fit really well, like magic.

I did that a lot when I first started teaching and needed good teaching clothes.  I would find crazy deals on clothes that were on clearance at Filene's Basment (pause for a moment of silence in memory of that wonderful store which has now closed) and TJMaxx or Marshall's.  That way, if I ruined it, I hadn't paid too much.

This, of course, also means that I am no fashionista, keeping up with the trends.  I rarely buy what is "in style" and sadly, I've had some of these clothes long enough that they've come back in style!  Like the super long dresses.  Totally the style in the late 90s and I bought a ton of them them then and now, they're back but I want them shorter!

It was only 90 degrees yesterday, instead of 92 like the day before, so I figured I should break out the sewing machines and get to work in my own sweatshop.

I tend to wear things like this when I sew so I can whip it off to try on my latest adjustments as I go.

See, another formerly long dress that I shortened.  I also tend to wear them to drive k-ster right up the wall because they are, as he claims, frumpy.  But they are, as I claim, so EASY to wear! 

I cut off some of the bottom of the red dress and used it as a ruffle across the top.  I've seen this style a lot lately and thought it might give me the camouflage I wanted.

I did a little lettuce edge with my serger with red thread so I wouldn't have to do a real hem.  I think this allowed it to be ruffled and hang freely.  I think an actual hem might have made it kind of thick and it would hang weird.

Plus, if you're lazy, this works great as a hem because there's not folding or ironing and it's a much more forgiving hem!  Especially on stretchy fabric like this.  I did this hem on the bottom of the dress too.

The ruffle on top is a little bit longer than I think it should be and I am debating going a little bit shorter.  It felt like I was wearing a bib. 

But it totally did the camouflage that I wanted.  And I like the length of the dress better now, too.

Linkning up:
http://too-much-time.com/2012/07/get-schooled-saturday-32-and-bhg-is-here.html
http://www.gingersnapcrafts.com/2012/07/wow-me-wednesday-60.html#mor
http://youaretalkingtoomuch.blogspot.com/2012/07/meet-me-monday-linky-party_22.html
http://cherishedhandmadetreasures.blogspot.com/2012/07/creative-corner-hop-21.html
http://www.iheartnaptime.net/sundae-scoop-link-party-40/
http://www.homestoriesatoz.com/2012/07/tutorials-tips-link-party-71.html
http://www.notjustahousewife.net/
http://www.glitterglueandpaint.com/throwback-thursday-5/

The Nastiest Workout Maneuver You Will Ever Do

When I was in elementary school, we did this exercise and it was called a squat thrust.  Today, they call them Burpees. 

Back then, I didn't seem to mind them.  Today, I would give you my kidneys for the chance to not have to do Burpees. 

I hate them.  There aren't a lot of exercises that I would say I love, but there are plenty that I don't mind doing and kind of like that they make me feel and look like I'm in shape.

But, of all the exercises I've ever done, I hate these the most.  Did I mention that yet?

Let me tell you why I hate them so much.  Because somehow, just a dozen of these assholes can make you sweat, lose all your breath and want to throw up, all in less than a minute.  I am pretty fit. I have a pretty good cardio system.  I am pretty strong.

Somehow, when you put a squat, pushup and jump all in one movement and make me do it over and over, it makes me want to kill you. 

Seriously, try a handful.  You will hate me forever.  They never get better.  They never get easier.  Just thinking about them makes me feel sick. 

And yet, I do them if I'm taking a class and someone says to.  If you cruise the internet, you'll read about people doing Burpees to stay fit.  They do them everywhere.

Like my theory about women being mean because they are wearing thongs, I believe that fit people are looking angry these days because of Burpees.


Watch.  You don't have to watch the whole thing, just watch a couple to get the idea. 

This isn't me.  You could probably tell because of the accent, right?  Oh and because I will never have abs like that. 



Linking up here.

It's Time To Bring Back the Pops

One of my first posts was about Jello Pudding Pops.  I can't remember why I felt so compelled to write about them, but they've been a pretty popular search item that has landed people on my blog in the past 2 years. 

So popular, in fact, the page has been viewed 249 times and 172 of those views have been in the past month. 

This tells me that it's time.  Call up Bill Cosby.  Make him do a commercial for them.  And bring them back.

This is a better picture than the one on my original post.  Do you remember how good those things were?  They tasted nothing like pudding, but they weren't fudgsicles or ice cream either.  I can still taste them.

My mother would buy them in the summer and I remember there was a game one summer where you were supposed to collect the sticks and win prizes.  It was baseball related, remember?

My favorite part was when I would take it out of the wrapper and sometimes, there would be like a little icicle on the bottom edges. 

I think of all the foods I've ever eaten, this one might be the most vivid memory in my mind and I can't even explain why!

But it appears that I am not alone, if over 200 people are looking for the same thing!  And it must be a summer thing because most of these hits have been in the hot summer months.

So Jello, if you're listening, bring them back.  Summer is clearly the ideal time to do it.  Dont' bother making stupid colors like pink or neon or whatever.  Kids will eat them if they are simply vanilla or chocolate.  I promise.  And if the kids won't eat them?  The 30 something crowd CERTAINLY will.

I'd be happy to do some taste testing.  Or promoting here on my blog.  I have a whole 53 people who follow my blog.  I am sure that I would have a huge influence in the market.

Really.

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Boys

When we were little, people always "pitied" my father for not having boys.  3 girls, they'd say and then do the nudge, nudge, wink, wink and my father always said he didn't have patience for boys.

We did some tomboyish things when we were little and my father encouraged playing with tractors and trucks (toys and the real thing) but he never tried to make us into boys.  Or scorned us if we were being girly.

We each drove the same pickup when we got our licenses and to this day, I still prefer a truck or SUV over a car.  We each had our share driving the dumptruck and I think we each had a few turns at plowing.

Basically, physical work wasn't something we avoided but it wasn't something that we had to do day in and day out.  Sometimes just driving the dumptruck was physical work!

During summers in college, I started working in the campground, mostly mowing the grass, but also picking up debris to go to the dump, cleaning up after hurricanes, etc. 

If you read my blog, you know that most of my summer is spent in and around the campground, keeping an eye on things and still cleaning up crap.

After mowing dead grass today, my father suggested that I go over and find someone's pit.  Do you know what that means?  It means their cesspool. 

For those of you who live in places where you have sewer hooked up to some magical sewer place and all you have to do is flush and never think about it again, let me give you a quick lesson on cesspools.  If you know all about them, feel free to skip right to the bottom and see my amazing arms.

The original theory, as I understand it, was that you could create this little brick well/cave type thing deep in the ground and have your sewer piped from your house (in this case, trailer) into it.  Because it was dug into the ground, and our ground here is mostly sand, eventually, all of the liquids would seep out into the ground and be "cleansed" by the sand and all of the good microbes in the soil, before it hit our aquifer which is a fancy word for "drinking water source".  The solids?  Well, I guess they thought the solids would break down too and those that didn't could get sucked out by these trucks that driving around pumping cesspools.  Cesspool pumping trucks are big business around here.

Oh, who am I kidding?  No one knew what the hell a microbe was back then.  I'm sure someone, in a drunken stupor, suggested that this might work and someone else three sheets to the wind said "yep, sounds great" and thus, the cesspools were built.  Human waste out of sight, out of mind.

And for a long time, everything was great on our little island.  But over time, the cesspools fail and break down and scientists have noticed that maybe we are all drinking what we've flushed and now maybe cesspools aren't the way to go.  And people flush bad things and now we're all drinking cocktails of other people's meds and diseases. 

But a lot of us still have cesspools and if they behave themselves, they remain.  When houses are sold, or the cesspool totally fails, then new things are done and people have these ridiculous new concrete things as yard decorations and that's just how it is if you want to live around here.  Until sewer is mandated and they figure out how to do it.

So, back to today.  We have lots of cesspools in the campground and they pretty much behave themselves.  However, some have now had decks built over them, or trailers are on them, so when they do misbehave or need to be pumped, it's a big fat mess.

And of course, we don't have maps of how this is all laid out.  That would be genius.  And a lot of work.  And we like scavenger hunts and difficult tasks in the moment.  Why create maps of underground things so in emergencies, we can just reference them?  Isn't it much more fun to look for the water bubbling up?

I have vague notions of where the cement covers are at various places around the park, but those are only the exposed ones.  Those that have been covered by dirt, decks, trailers, those are the difficult ones.

So, I was off to find the pit.  I had a notion of where it might  be.  I looked under the trailer to see which direction the pipe went.  And then I had to just dig around where I thought it might be.  As we both suspected, it was NOT under a trailer or deck, so it was open for digging.  That reduced the workload tremendously.

Between my father and me, this is what we accomplished.  The pipe had broken and was clogged and needs to be replaced.  MMMM.  Lots of fun.  See all the roots across the trench?  That makes it extra fun to dig.  Along with the rocks and claylike soil, the likes of which I have never experienced in my life!

This is the cement cover over the hole.  People think they are "cleaning up" or being "helpful" when they cover over the "unsightly" cement covers, but that just makes things really difficult.

This is a piece of the broken pipe.  There's a lot of this pipe which is not made of plastic, and over time, it has broken down with the help of tree roots.  It needs to be replaced with plastic.

The tools of my trade.  Because the soil was so clay ridden and the roots were so awful AND I was afraid of breaking any more of the pipe with the shovel, I opted for the trowel when I got close to the pipe.  The shovel works well, but when it starts to get tight or the roots just won't stop interfering, it's a little easier with the trowel.

I didn't stick around to help with the new pipe because I had to be fresh and energized to teach my spin class at the gym, so he did have a man come help him with that.  But that was the easy part. 

I work out so I can keep my girlish figure and be ready to dig up sewer pipes at a moment's notice, right?

Come on boys, let's get digging!

Linking up here.

Ha Lay Lew Yah

Those are the singing angels, singing all their praises that my new Dell laptop arrived today.  I haven't had the luxury of using my old laptop without the cord for about a year, but at least I could move it around and plug it in elsewhere if I wanted to.

But now?  I can use this new one with, or without the cord.  I don't have to burn my legs off when I use it.  And it's much lighter weight because it's smaller.  And it has a port so I can put the card from my camera in there so picture uploading is much easier.

Ahhhhhh, so nice.

Ok, so now what do I want to write about, now that I have all this freedom again?

Hmmm.

How about....

Easy to make smoothies.  I had to do this a few times to believe it with my own eyes, but it really works.

Take a mason jar with a regular mouth, fill it with what you want and put your blender bottom on it like you were attaching it to your real blender jar thing.

Stick in on the blender base, just like you would if you had your real blender jar on there.

And voila!  That's all you have to do!  

This way, everyone gets whatever they want in a smoothie and you just have to rinse the blade in between.  And somehow, washing a mason jar is far more appealing than washing the blender.