What the Cat Dragged In

This is a WTF WEDNESDAY.  I'm certain it is.  I looked it up, even.

It seems there is no story I can tell you here that doesn't require some sort of back story.

In 2007, I began a French group for adults.  After teaching for many years with no connections to anyone who speaks French, I decided it was time to start a group where people who actually speak French can get together and do just that, once a month.

I had visions of chic, interesting people who visit French speaking places often.  People who know what they are doing when they open their mouths to speak French.  People who would pair up and go out for cafe on a regular basis and eat baguettes chez each other and maybe even organize a trip to Paris.

4 years later, I still host this group once a month.  We meet at the Cultural Center.  After some trial and error, I determined that the most successful evenings were the evenings I showed a movie or we had a potluck dinner.  Not being one to change things that work, I alternate a movie or potluck month after month.

And I get all of the lunatics who live in the area.  Anyone who thinks they might have once spoken French comes.  Most figure out right away that they do actually have to speak French and they won't come back.  Sadly, a few still come though they can't say much and they spend the whole evening apologizing that they can't speak French.  I even removed one guy from my email list, didn't tell him, and last month he reappeared as the guest of someone new!

For the most part, those who come regularly speak very well, some better than I do, and there is a core group that has a really good time.  They are doing what I wanted people to do when I first created the group:  they are connecting, making friendships and coming regularly.

Then there are the very old ladies whose parents came from Quebec.  These ladies are very cute and their French is nearly impossible to understand because a) they are old so they don't speak clearly, b) they have spoken English most of their lives so they speak a mix of franglais and words I am pretty sure they just completely make up and c) they speak with the rural Quebec accent that is pretty hard to decipher.  There are 3 of them and they are cute and I love it when they come because they occupy each other.

Because that's what this has become.  It's yet another facet of my life where I have to worry about what everyone else is thinking and if they are comfortable and tell them where to find what they need and listen to what I could do to make it better.

So much for speaking lots of French with hip, cool people who really inspire me to organize trips and keep speaking le français.

But, I do make a little money, so it is worth it and sometimes it provides me with good stories.

So, do you get what we do?

Now, last night was a movie night.  I usually pick my movies from Netflix because they have really up to date French movies and I get them early, watch them and then hold onto them until I am ready to show them.

I always preview the movies after the Chocolat incident.  I was told that Johnny Depp speaks French in the movie.  I didn't realize they meant he speaks a word or two but it's an American movie.  DUH.  Never again will I show a movie without watching!

So, I found this movie Le Nom des Gens that I thought was pretty funny.  It's recent, it's clear (sometimes French movies are dark), the sound is good (sometimes they are too quiet) and I was laughing for most of the movie.

One has to be ever so careful with French movies because there are often scenes with nudity that just don't make  sense to our prudish American eyes.  Like why is everyone else completely dressed but a woman just walked through the room naked?

This movie has nudity and sexual themes, but when I watched it, I thought it was tame enough.  I thought maybe people would hold their breath a little, but the entertainment factor of the funny parts would make it all ok.

Did I mention the average age of the attendees might be like 65?  On a good night?  I'm always the youngest and there's always someone pushing 80 and lots of people around the half century mark.

Still, I thought maybe the nudity wouldn't be a problem.

But, I guess it was.  One woman left, so mad that she slammed her bottle into the trash, told me the movie is DISGUSTING and she is "really upset".  It was one of the cute Quebec ladies.

I guess it was the scene where the girl is stark naked,with boots, wandering around Paris while on her phone.  And we see everything.  But it's funny because she got distracted and rushed out to buy a present and that's why she's naked.

Yeah Quebec lady #1 didn't find it funny.

Oh, did I mention the cat?

When I walked into the Cultural Center, I thought I heard someone say "do you have a cat in there?" and I thought I heard meowing.  Since the person talking is in charge of the boutique, I was sure she meant she was looking for a wooden cat, or a stuffed cat, or a picture of a cat.

But no, there was a really pretty cat wandering around.  They said it's been there off and on for a while.  And they feed it.  And it's the most friendly thing I've ever seen.

But it howls to get your attention.  It does that fake sounding meow that you think is someone pretending to be a cat. Not a high pitched meow like that cat on marry Tyler Moore's opening. (or was it the closing?)

I thought "Hmm, this might not go over too well if this cat meows all night" but then I thought it would be let out.  Or that someone's lap would entice it.  Or that the movie would overpower the meowing.

I did casually mention to a few people that there is a cat.  And then I told Quebec lady #2.

And she freaked.  She said she has allergies.  And I know she's been sick and hasn't come for a long time because of it.  And we were so happy to see her tonight.

The cat was up in the office for a while, so out of sight, out of mind.

Then it came down and made its presence known.  And it circled around.  And Quebec lady #2 made noise to make it go away.  While people were watching the movie, of course.

And it howled and cried at the door of the board room, wanting to be let in.

Oh, did I mention the meeting of extremely obnoxious ladies?  Like the creme de la creme of the nastiest, bitchiest, loudest ladies?  I'll give them a little plug but you have to make the effort to go check them out because I don't like them, I just like their cause.  They are Girly Girl Parts, a non profit dedicated to Ovarian Cancer.

But they are not Girly Girl girls.  They are Nasty, Loud, Overbleached Bitches.

Before Quebec lady #1  was offended, these two BROADS walked in and talked in full voice about their meeting and they were sure there was a meeting and where was the meeting and meeting, meeting, meeting.  We go them into the board room and then their comrades arrived.  And arrived.  And arrived, for the whole 2 hours I was there.   They just kept coming.   They brought food.  They made noise.  They opened the door 50 times. All while we were watching the movie.

And then the cat wanted in, so they let it in.

And then they let it out.

And then I let it outside.

And then Quebec lady #2 said "I have to go, where is that cat?  I can't take this anymore, my allergies....I'm all (waving hands)..."

"Oh, I said, I put it outside" and looked down to see that the cat was  BACK INSIDE, wandering between us.

So, I took the cat outside but Quebec lady #2 had to leave anyway because she was all "..."

Then the executive director came back in from the parking lot and asked if I knew that a lady was coughing up a storm out in the parking lot.

"Why, yes," I said, "she is very mad about the CAT and it got her allergies all "..." and she LEFT BECAUSE SHE'S mad!"

I am the biggest fan of animals.  But I know that many people are not.  And some have make believe issues with animals when they hear that there is one.

And you can be sure that this latest addition isn't going to sit well with the people who frequent the Center.

So it's curtains for that cat, I believe.

And I think I might have to show a cartoon next time.  If there is a next time.

**people who were able to remain for the duration of the film really liked it.  Even Quebec lady #3 who is now trying to disassociate herself from #1 so don't think she is a prude.

Showing Naked Videos

Ha ha, just kidding.  But this is what the school district must think we will do because they have to block YOUTUBE at school.  Do you know how many great things there are that we could show on youtube?

There's a way to get around it and the technology people will give us the special code to do it, but it's a pain in the ass.

And I might be tempted to commit evil with it, what with it being a secret code and all.

So, my post was going to be about teachertube.com and what a lameass site that is.  It's like what you picture when you think of teachers posting 'appropriate" materials online.

Think homemade. 

Think super cheesy. 

Think made in the classroom. 

Boring.

But then I found this.  And I was impressed.  And I have to confess that I might have learned some things.  And I still don't know about some of these things they name.  I guess I am not a true American.   Or yeah, maybe because I wasn't alive in 1950, I might be exempt.

I went to a Billy Joel concert in Nashville in 1995 and he had a binder open when he sang it and he said he always has to have the lyrics there to this one song because they are so dense and he is afraid he might miss one.

I feel his pain.  I once forgot the words to the National Anthem. 

In a crowded gym. 

When I was singing alone.

Swearing on the Bus

The other day, I posted about not understanding parents who sit at bus stops with their kids.    Your comments have made me think, but I still think it's odd that people who are pressed for time will sit with their kids at the bus stop instead of just driving them in to school.

I did a lia sophia party for a bunch of mothers the other day, many of whom I went to school with, and the discussion about buses came up.  Most of them will not let their kids ride the bus because, as one mother said "Every bad thing I ever learned, I learned on the BUS!" 

Other mothers agreed.  They started talking about scary kids at the bus stop and getting beaten up. 

One said her 1st grader told her there was penis and vagina talk the other day on the bus, so she doesn't get to ride it that often.

We didn't have the option of riding a bus until I was in 6th grade, so I only had a few years of bus riding.  And it was like 10 minutes.  And I usually sat at the front because I liked the heater on my feet.   We didn't have kids in the neighborhood to learn penis and vagina talk from.  So I never learned bad tricks on the bus.

Except once.  We had some field trip somewhere.  And this boy got a can of Lysol and a lighter and was spraying and lighting it on the bus.  I knew it was dangerous, we all did, and very bad.  It was the back of the bus.  There were teachers on the bus.  I can't imagine how on earth the teachers didn't notice.  I know my bloodhound nose would most certainly smell Lysol and smoke!

So, do you keep your kids from riding the bus because of your own experience?  Because of things you've heard go on on the bus?  Or do you figure it's part of life and let them deal with it themselves?

Halloween Harvest

Ok, I'm just here to brag.

It's Halloween. We just had an ass-kicking storm over the weekend, and yet, my gardens are still going. So much wind, I was sure everything would be destroyed, but things still look OK.

 The two little watermelons are about the size of softballs.  I started these in AUGUST and wanted to see what would happen with them in the greenhouse.  This is how big they got before the plants died back.  I want to cut them open, but I suspect they don't have much red in them, so I am delaying the sadness for a little longer.

The green beans are just fantastic!  I had this green bean tree that got really crazy and finally has just about died.  Those plants lasted ALL SUMMER and took just about the long to even produce a bean.  ONce they started, they were popping out beans constantly.

I planted others really late in the season, like beginning of October late, and they are coming along.  I worry that the bees went away this weekend because it was so cold.  If so, nothing will pollinate them and that will the end of that.

The bag behind the watermelons has broccoli.  I expect to get broccoli from my outside plants for another 2 months.  I always have broccoli until about December.  I planted some new broccoli plants in the greenhouse last weekend and they've really taken off.  They don't need to be pollinated, so I really think I might be able to get broccoli in the middle of winter in the greenhouse.

We'll see.  No heat in the greenhouse means it's just as cold in there overnight as everywhere else.  BUt I'd like to think the frost will stay off for a little while longer.

You  can be sure I'll let you know how it's working out!

Feel Good Friday

Another excellent way to end the week.

The Waiting Game

I don't get it.

Maybe this is something unique to this area.

Every morning, on my way to school, I pass a lot of students waiting for their bus.  I live 3 miles from school.  Most of the kids I see live about 1.5 miles from school.  Since we don't have sidewalks the entire way, they are bussed, even if they live less than a mile away.  It used to be that you had to live at least a mile away to get a bus, but then the sidewalk rule came into play.

I do think it's nuts to have kids who live practically next door to school take a bus.  But that's not what I don't get.

What I don't get is the parents who stand or sit in a car WITH their kids, waiting for the bus.  The amount of time that is spent waiting is the more than the amount of time it would take to DRIVE the kids to school and return home!

I realize that some parents think it's unsafe for kids to stand there and be leered at by nasty perverts, but I don't think having an adult there keeps people from doing that.  I think it just sets them up for the ONE DAY that the parent isn't there and the predator can take advantage.

Some might say, 'well, I dont' want to waste the gas driving the 1.5 miles when there is a bus that will do it, so I'll just stand here.'

True.  But there are many parents who sit there in a RUNNING CAR, WAITING for the bus.  Where is the logic?

I mentioned this to a friend of mine who was fussing about waiting at the bus stop with her daughter.  I asked why she didn't just drive her to school.  She said it wasn't on her way to work.  But really, would it be so far out of the way?  We don't live 20 miles from schools around here.  Most people live like 10 minutes, maybe 15 from a school because we don't bus kids from all over creation, just kids in town.

I can't understand the logic of standing there and then complaining about how you have to stand there.

Well, if you don't like it, drop the kid at school, right?

Still Whining About My Ipod- Wait, Did I Say That Already?

Yesterday, I whined all about my ipod's tragic demise.

One of the reasons I am reminded of my fury over this is because I currently have an audio book (I had just typed book on tape, but I guess that's so 1999, right?) on the ipod I'm using.

I can't remember the name of it.  Ironic because it's about a woman with Alzheimer's.  It's fiction and it's not Still Alice which a lot of people have read about a woman with Alzheimer's.  This is another one that I had seen in the library ebooks for a long time and I downloaded it.

I like to listen to audio books when I am doing menial tasks like mowing, cleaning, doing dishes, sewing.  I can't listen when I am driving or correcting papers or anything that requires dual focus like that, so summer is the best time for me to listen. 

I guess that's a shining example of my life during the school year and during the summer.

Now that it's fall, the grass only needs one more mowing, but I've been listening a lot while cleaning or lounging about in the hammock, knitting.

At least, I've been trying to listen.

But my sister's ipod is old.  And it was neglected once she bought her iphone.  So it sat in the corner and atrophied.

When she first gave it to me, I was so thrilled to have a device to put my music onto and use at the gym, I didn't care that it was kind of big.  Or that it seemed to have a mind of its own.

And then I downloaded this book.  And listened to about 20 minutes of it and had to put it away. 

 Now, with the 3rd generation, I would hold down the bottom of the scroll circle, I dont' even know what that thing is called but it's gone on the new versions anyway, and the screen would go dark and it would be off.

I can't seem to find the magic "off" button on this one, so it is always dead when I want to turn it back on.

No matter, I thought, I'll just make the screen go dark and then switch the lock button so it stays asleep.

Nope, that didn't work either.

So, I started plugging it in before I'd use it.  That requires a lot of preplanning.  Part of my desire to use the ipod comes from spontaneous menial chores, not preplanned tasks for which I line up all of my entertainment a week in advance.

I'd charge it, plug in my headphones, scroll to the book, and the damned thing would start from scratch.  On the 3rd generation, it would pick up right where I left off.

So, I'd have to scroll through until it was where I thought it might have been when I shut it off the last time.

And then I'd have about 10 minutes before the battery died.  And it would be repeating most of what I had already heard in the book anyway.

And because I have no idea when it's going to croak, I can't look and see where I am in the chapters because it's dead before I get there.

So here's what I know about the book so far:

-the woman was a surgeon and her name is Jennifer
-she now has Alzheimer's and knows it
-she keeps a journal
-she has her lucid days and  days when she takes a shower in her clothes and then goes into the neighborhood, soaked
-her best friend was found murdered and I think they think she might have had something to do with it
-her son and daughter are at odds over who is trying to steal her money
-she has a caretaker

Sounds like an intriguing book, right?

However, I'm beginning to think I'm the one with Alzheimer's each time I turn on this book.  I keep hearing the same things and feel  like I've been there before. 

I have good days, when I pick up near where I left off.

I have days where I hear the opening music for the book and think "I've heard this before"

I have days where I fear I might have skipped past a crucial point as I rushed to get to a new part before the battery died.

Don't tell me the end of this book, if you've read it.  I want to hear it for myself.

If I can find the device to listen to, that is.