Something I Didn't Learn On Aunt Mildred's Porch

As I explain in the About the Porch section of my website, I learned how to knit, crochet, cross stitch and do various other crafts on my Aunt Mildred's porch in the summers of my childhood.  What no one ever did on her porch was sew with a sewing machine.

My mother always had a sewing machine, but until she caught the quilting bug in the mid 80s, I never saw it open.  It was something I always knew was there and I saw pictures of some cute things she had made me when I was really little, but I didn't see her sit and actually sew with it.  It was just a piece of furniture in our playroom and I didn't think about it much.  It had its own cabinet with a cover she had made and something sat on top of it, like a table.

When she started quilting, I was in middle school and really wanted to learn how to sew.  We didn't have home ec in my school and she didn't want me using her sewing machine.  I imagine she didn't want to have umpteen million new projects being made when I should have been doing things like playing outside.

I assure you, if someone had ever brought a sewing machine to Aunt Mildred's porch, I would have found a way to learn how to at least make a simple straight seam.

Fast forward to high school, and a former teacher who was my neighbor and a marvelous seamstress asked me if I wanted to make a dress.

I.WAS.HOOKED.

With no skills or instruction beyond that one pattern we cut out and sewed, I suddenly had the keys to my mother's sewing machine and off I went.  I guess by then, she figured I was old enough not to sew through my hands and probably gentle enough not to break it.  Plus, that wasn't her "good" machine, it was just the one down cellar.

This was all before the internet, so I had to read pattern instructions and just wing it.  I winged it enough to make my prom dress for my senior prom and though it wasn't really the style of the times (I didn't know you could actually sew things that were up to date stylewise) it was something I was really proud of and would wear right now if the occasion called for it!

Whenever I was home from college, I would sew a bunch of things for myself, and even some pajamas for my roommate one year, and happily wore them with no idea that I could actually manipulate patterns before cutting them to make sure they really fit.

I did a lot of unspeakable alterations that would make a real seamstress croak.

Not that I have a lot of  amazing skills today, but I think I am a great example of  how simple it is to sew, if you can read and have a little creativity.   With youtube, you can search for how to do almost anything and there are some really great people out there who have very clear, well done videos to show all sorts of things that mystified me years ago.  People have asked if I will teach them to sew and I always say no.  No one should learn my hack, that'll do skills.  You can learn far better from the internet! 

When I graduated from college, my mother shocked me with a present of a new sewing machine of my own.  I hadn't asked for it and it hadn't crossed my mind that when I moved out, I wouldn't have a machine and would always have to go use hers.

Along with my Bernina 1001, my grandmother shocked me yet again with a FunLock serger to go with it.  I've shown plenty of pictures of that on here, so I won't bother in this post.


My friends were like "WHAT?" while I was in heaven.  I didn't have a degree in home ec, so sewing machines probably seemed like a weird graduation present but I knew what lay ahead.

Sort of.

I can't even name everything I've made in the 20 years I've had this machine.  I've sewn enough for other people that I probably have earned enough to buy a new machine, but why bother?  I see these newfangled digital Berninas and I get a little light headed.

These are all of my stitches and I can't imagine using any others! I haven't even found a use for everything I can do with these.

I know that the new digital machines have all sorts of stitch regulators and favorite stitches you can save and some will embroider and do really fancy stuff.  I guess I still see each machine as a separate thing.  A serger serges, a sewing machine sews, an embroidery machine embroiders and a long arm quilting machine quilts.  Even though I've done just about all of that on this machine!

My mother gave me a walking foot a long time ago, and I think I might have recently worn it out!  I use it for way more than quilting, mainly because I forget to change it until I'm partway through something.  I read all over the internet that a lot of people use it all the time for the same reason and love it.  The only time I change it is when I need to make a narrow seam that the walking foot it just too big and clunky to do well.


With my Bernina came a couple of metal bobbins and I quickly learned that just a couple of bobbins is a real pain because not everything can be sewn with a few colors.  At that time, it was still the late 90s, and the 1001 was still fairly  new, so I managed to find a package of a few more bobbins that fit.  I assumed I'd always be able to find bobbins to fit.

But in the past 10-15  years, I have tried finding more bobbins and they are always just a little too big. The Bernina dealer we had nearby is no longer dealing with Berninas, so I have no place to drive to within an hour's drive.  I was afraid to get them online because I kept reading terrible reviews about the quality or that they were not the size people were saying they were and I didn't want to be stuck.

This Christmas, when no one knew what to get me and I kept saying I didn't want to make a list, I decided to bite the bullet and investigate these bobbins and see if someone could get them.

Voila, 8 more bobbins that fit!  I really think the metal kind work best, though the plastic have never given me trouble.  I just feel like the metal makes things glide better.  I was nervous when I saw the holes because my original bobbins don't have holes but these work just fine.

Are you ready for my big confession?  I've sewn on this machine for more hours than I can possibly count in the past 2 decades and I've never had it serviced!  I don't think about it until I clean it myself and then I wonder if maybe I should take it somewhere.  But then I'll  be just about to start a new project and don't want to give it up for a week or more.  So I continue to subscribe to the old "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" theory.

My mother has more than one sewing machine and so does my sister and it makes me think maybe I should have a fancy machine along with this one.  But then I see all of the new machines and they are all made of plastic.  This 1001 is actually porcelain covered, so it has this heavy, cool feel to it.  The plastic machines just feel so cheap to me.  Like they aren't made to last.

So, I'll continue to save my pennies until the day this Bernina bites the dust and I have to give in to a new model.  Until then, I think we are in this for the long haul!

Linking here:
http://www.skiptomylou.org/made-by-you-monday-269/
http://julieslifestyle.blogspot.com/2015/12/cooking-and-crafting-with-j-j-31.html
http://www.sewcando.com/2015/12/the-last-craftastic-monday-link-party.html
http://www.littlemissdexterous.com/meet-up-monday-link-party-14-2/#more-2957
http://www.thequinntessentialmommy.com/meetup-monday-link-party-51/ 
http://olives-n-okra.com/funtastic-friday-56/

Ham, Egg and Cheese Braid

I was featured with these fine ladies!

Recently I saw a picture of a Ham and Egg Breakfast Braid from www.itisakeeper.com and thought it would be a good thing to make for Christmas morning.  It's anyone's guess what time everyone will be at my parents' house and sometimes, we get kind of hungry before it's time for Christmas dinner.  Something with a little protein seemed like a good idea.

In the original recipe, it suggests using tubes of crescent roll dough but I don't buy those, so I had to think about what I would use that would be easy and would hold together.

I whipped out my tried and true pizza dough recipe and made up a batch in my bread machine.  Using the bread machine saves so  much time because it does all of the kneading and and rising for me.  I also know it takes exactly 1 hour 45 minutes so I can plan what I will do.

I made this as a trial the other night and it was really big for one cookie sheet.  For Christmas, since we have a non dairy eater, I divided the dough in half and did one with cheese and one without.

Once I had the dough laid out, I put about 6 pieces of deli ham down the center and then half of the scrambled eggs on top of that.  I didn't put cream cheese in my Christmas day version and I liked the texture of the eggs better without it.  On one tray, I put some monterey jack cheese on top of the eggs.  I used cheddar the first time and it was good but a little sharp.  This was milder.

It's not really a braid when I make it.  I slice each side and put the sides across and stick it to the dough on the opposite side.  Then I slice some more, etc.  They end up looking like swaddled babies, I think.

I baked them at 415 degrees for about 15 minutes because pizza dough cooks faster and hotter.

I always, always, always forget to do an egg wash, so I didn't even bother separating an egg to pretend I was going to do it this time!

I used a pizza cutter to slice across and people took pieces to eat on a plate with a fork or just in their hands.

It was a big hit and I think I will make it for Christmas morning again. 

Linking here:

http://www.myturnforus.com/2015/12/freedom-fridays-with-all-my-bloggy_24.html
http://julieslifestyle.blogspot.com/2015/12/cooking-and-crafting-with-j-j-31.html
http://www.the-chicken-chick.com/2015/12/clever-chicks-blog-hop-171-featuring.html

The Fashion World Is No Match For Me

I've gone right over the edge.  By accident.  I've committed fashion murder.

Sort of.

I bought a pair of jeggings that I thought were jeans.  They looked like jeans and didn't have the telltale jeggings fakeness to them.    They felt like real denim.

They were super cheap so I should have known.

They are snug and then flare at the bottom.

When I realized the error of my ways, I almost took them back but it wasn't really worth the effort because they were like $14.  But they were too long and looked even more ridiculous rolled up like this.

But, since I don't have any respect for jeggings, I couldn't bring myself to hem them.

They were so long, they needed to be rolled up twice and they weren't staying rolled because of the flare, so I had no choice but to hem them.

And now I think they might be a little short, so I might take them out and redo them.  Or, I might never wear them in public so who will care?

I'm not kidding anyone.  I will obviously wear them in public because they are easy to wear and comfortable, right?

But, I think I need a belt because they keep slipping down.

Who wears jeggings with a belt??

Who hems jeggings?

And who hems them with gold thread?

That's right, gold!  I've had this gold thread on a bobbin for YEARS and never find a use for it.  When I tried to find the color that would match the topstitching on these high quality pants, I didn't have anything close.

So, I figured gold was the closest I was going to get and now I can totally entertain myself when I see my gold hems.

See that extra pocket detail there, and the grommet?  See how I might have thought they were real jeans?

After this fashion faux pas, it's all downhill.  Stay tuned for the mumus!

Linking here:

http://www.the-chicken-chick.com/2015/12/clever-chicks-blog-hop-168-featuring.html
http://olives-n-okra.com/merry-monday-83/ 
http://www.flamingotoes.com/2015/12/show-and-tell-link-party-39/

Glazed Lemon Cranberry Cake

Are you familiar with Annies Eats?  This amazing website has recipes that are easy to make, taste great and are always a little different than you'd expect.

I wasn't even looking for this kind of recipe, but I follow her on instagram and when she posted a picture that looked like this:

I knew I was going to have to try it.  I have that crazy amount of cranberries, remember, so making this for Thanksgiving was a no brainer.

Everything went as expected, even my bundt pan.  Usually, cakes gets stuck in it and I make a huge mess.  Because the fruit was on the bottom of the pan, I think that helped the whole thing come out.

When it's finished, you make a lemon glaze with confectioner's sugar and lemon juice and drizzled it over.

This gorgeous china is a family heirloom and cannot be duplicated, so don't even ask where it came from.

The cake is very tasty and pretty dense.  My only complaint is that I don't think I used enough lemon, so next time, I would use more.

Otherwise, it came out exactly as I thought it should.  I never refrigerated it and it held up really well.  The cranberries didn't leak down into the cake to make it soggy and the cake remained not stale after several days of leftovers.

Another amazing hit from Annies Eats that will surely become a holiday go-to again and again!

Linking here:
http://sewmanyways.blogspot.com
http://olives-n-okra.com/share-it-39/
http://www.the-chicken-chick.com/2015/11/clever-chicks-blog-hop-167-with-henbag.html
http://www.skiptomylou.org
http://www.sewcando.com
http://www.flamingotoes.com/2015/11/show-and-tell-link-party-38/
http://www.thequinntessentialmommy.com/meetup-monday-link-party-47/
http://www.thesitsgirls.com
http://www.myturnforus.com/2015/12/freedom-fridays-with-all-my-bloggy.html 

A Christmas Craftastrophe

If you've spent any time on my blog, you know that I make things and they usually turn out pretty well.  Most recently, I've made these and these and even this and I'm pretty sure they all came out nicely.

As expected, even.

So, when I saw this post about the cutest bath fizzies and how easy they are to make, I was sure that I would make them and they would be the best thing since peppermint bark.  I was going to make a million of them and give them as last minute gifts to everyone I knew:  the mailman, the bank tellers, the newspaper boy, random strangers passing by, the dog walkers, kids waiting for the bus.

So, I assembled the ingredients: 

cornstarch- in my cabinet
baking soda- in my cabinet
epsom salts- in my bathroom thanks to this
essential lavender oil- in my shower
food coloring- got it
water- no problem
citric acid- I'll just run out and get some

When I got to 'citric acid' I should have hung it up right there.  I forgot that when I first started canning applesauce, I had tried to find citric acid because I thought it was a vital component and would keep things from spoiling.  Turns out, it just keeps the apples from turning brown.  Who cares if your applesauce is light brown or dark brown?  So, I gave up and forgot about it.

I heard rumors that Whole Foods has citric acid but nowhere else really does.  We don't have Whole Foods around here, so I figured good old Stop and Shop would have it.

I might have been asking for plutonium.  They had no idea what I was saying.

I had to take matters into my own hands and went to Shaws, another local grocery store.  I finally found citric acid in the canning aisle, produced by Ball, the company that makes all things canning.  It had citric acid, dextrose and silicone dioxide.  What harm can those other things do, right?  It has citric acid and it's what I need.

Well, in what can only be the purest definition of irony, my cute little green Christmas trees turned BROWN.  Remember how citric acid is used to keep apples from turning brown?  Well, my bath fizzies which were white and dyed green, nary a brown spec in sight, turned brown.

And they were a GIANT mess and full of holes.

They are supposed to be moist enough to pack into the little molds, but not soupy.  Well, the trees were a little soupy because I was in a hurry and added too much water.  Just as practically functional had done with her first attempt, I added too much water and had a growing mass of sludge.  Hers dried out eventually, so not to be deterred, I put mine on our radiators and let them dry.  And they still looked like that after 4 days. 

And the worst part?  They wouldn't fizz.  They just sank in the water and broke apart.  Like crumbling cookies. 

So, I tried it again.  I was going to make these cute little gingerbread men.  I was going to make a million, give them to everyone I did and didn't know.- see above.

It was going to be legendary.

So, I started again and took much more time.  I sprayed on the water, just like she said.  Over and over I sprayed.  I had what was a slightly packable consistency.  I packed it into the mold.  And I had some left over, so I made little balls.

This was going much better.  No rising bread dough-like behavior.  Very little expansion.

And then the holes started. 

And after several days of drying, I ended up with another batch of unfizzable crap that looked like this.

So, into the trash everything went.  I'm done with the fizzies.  It's back to peppermint bark for me this year. 

I had such high hopes.

I'm pretty sure the silicon dioxide and dextrose in the citric acid blend was the problem.  I'm sure someone can chime in and tell us the scientific reason this didn't work.

We are getting a Whole Foods here this summer, so maybe I'll give it another whirl for next Christmas, when I can just buy citric acid without all of the extras.

Oh, my favorite part?  When k-ster kept asking "wait, are these food?" and I'd say they are bath fizzies and because he didn't know what a bath fizzy is, he ignored me and asked later on "are these food?"   

I'm not afraid to share this disaster of a craftastrophe here:
http://www.skiptomylou.org/2012/12/18/made-by-you-monday-132/
http://www.myturnforus.com/2015/11/freedom-fridays-with-all-my-bloggy_26.html
http://cherishedhandmadetreasures.blogspot.com/
http://olives-n-okra.com/funtastic-friday-52/
http://www.glitterglueandpaint.com/throwback-thursday-2/
http://www.thequinntessentialmommy.com/meetup-monday-link-party-47/
and here and   here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here!

Making It So Easy To Eat Your Veggies

We didn't eat Brussels sprouts growing up and I've always heard only negative things about them.  Most people moan and groan about how awful they are and how when they were kids, they couldn't leave the table until they ate them all and it was pure torture.

I'm pretty sure those poor kids had to eat boiled Brussels sprouts which probably do taste dreadful.

I'm here to tell you why you need to roast Brussels sprouts and wow the masses.  My sister once mentioned that I should try roasting them in a little bit of olive oil and see what I think.  I was hooked immediately and I make them a lot.

I simply take frozen (because fresh are not really easy to find here and when I do find them, they are always sad and wilted looking) Brussels sprouts, put them on my favorite Pampered Chef stoneware, drizzle a touch of oil on top and cook them at around 415 degrees for about 20-30 minutes.  It's vague because I go in and stir them a few times and when everything starts to brown but not burn, they are done.

Even k-ster loves them.  We easily eat one bag of frozen Brussels sprouts between us and look for more every time!  There really isn't all that much in one of those frozen bags.

Recently, I noticed that Olives N Okra makes a version with pancetta and some garlic.  It sounded really good though I never buy pancetta.

One of the biggest tortures for me is when I get to the barn after school and I don't have a plan for supper.  If I don't figure it out before I ride, I spend a good portion of my ride wondering what I will make.  If I just planned my meals for the week, this would never be an issue but I don't seem to be able to plan my meals like that.

Just as I was getting my stuff together, I remembered that we had macaroni and cheese leftover.  Then I thought about the Brussels sprouts recipe with pancetta and the wheels started turning.  I wouldn't venture into the pancetta world because I've never used it, but I could get a thick piece of ham and do the same thing.  And I had some broccoli from my garden that needed to be eaten, so I figured I could combine it with the Brussels sprouts and make a lovely dish to go with the macaroni and cheese.

And this did not disappoint!  I put a bag of Brussels sprouts, a handful of broccoli, about half a pound of ham, some garlic and a little oil together on my stoneware.  I shook it around and coated everything and put it in the oven at 415 degrees for about a half hour.

The broccoli was a little delicate because it wasn't a firm head of broccoli, so it was very crispy when the rest of it was ready, but it made a really good companion to the macaroni and cheese!  I will definitely do this again!

If I made this for a fancy meal, I would eliminate the broccoli unless it was nice and firm.  Some people wouldn't want to eat the crispy florets that my garden is so good at growing.

Linking here:
http://www.sewcando.com/2015/11/thanksgiving-week-craftastic-monday.html
http://www.skiptomylou.org/made-by-you-monday-264/
http://olives-n-okra.com/merry-monday-81/
http://www.sitsgirls.com
http://www.myturnforus.com/2015/11/freedom-fridays-with-all-my-bloggy_26.html
http://olives-n-okra.com/funtastic-friday-53/ 

What's In A Name?

I have a thing about names.  I like them to be pronounced correctly, whether someone is saying my name or I'm saying someone else's.  I really believe your name has a lot to do with who you are and when people ignore your personal pronunciation of your name or call you by the wrong name, I think that does a lot to the psyche.

Names always conjure up images.  If you've ever heard a name before, you always have a person in mind with that name and it can make you really happy or destroy you.  I don't know how teachers or coaches can name their kids because there are few names out there we don't associate with someone!

My name is JoAnna but I HATE to be called Joanne or Johanna.  Both bring up images of people with those names who I would not want to be associated with and I get very annoyed.  When I was little, I would just suck it up, but now if someone says the wrong names, I so automatically say "JoAnna", I don't even realize I've done it.  And people are nice about saying "Oh, sorry, JoAnna..... But anyway, Joanne..."  It really never goes away.

When I was younger, I thought exotic, cleverly spelled names were the way to go.  If I had kids, I was going to give them the craziest spellings of their names so they would always be unique.  I might even make up names, I used to think.

Then I started teaching.  In my time, I've had thousands of names come through my gradebooks. 
I used to think I should get a phD in nameology and if that didn't exist, I was going to make it exist.  During the course of my study, I would do a lot of research on criminals, outcasts and social weirdos and their names.  I think strange names lead a child to feel strange and then do strange things, often committing crimes.

I have no scientific research to back me up, but very often in my 20 years of teaching, I have found that students with most unusual names are the students who are most often in trouble, sad or seemingly outcast.

However, there have been plenty of average Joes and Janes who fall into the same category, so basically I'm talking right out of my butt.

Over the years, I have taught every imaginable version of Katelyn and Katherine.

I've taught students with names of flowers, seasons and months.

I've taught students whose names are cities, countries and states.

I've had "normal" names with "abnormal" pronunciations like Tara or Cara who insisted on being called Tahra or Cahra, like tar or car as the first syllable.  Where we live, you say the a like you do in cat.  You know, the way most normal people pronounce Cara, Tara, Sara, etc.

I'm kidding on the normal thing.

I've taught Jesus, Mohammed and Moses.

I've taught girls whose first names are their parents' names blended together.

I've looked at my class lists and thought maybe a 3 year old gave out names that year.

I've looked at class lists and thought the scrabble bag fell on the floor of the nursery and parents just grabbed the first 7 tiles to name their babies.

I've had foreign names so difficult to pronounce that kids have just said "John is fine".  To which I said "No, I WILL say it correctly because that's your name, just help me!"

Because in my theory about  names, I believe that when a child gives up on adults that young and lets them call them whatever feels closest to their complex name, they have given up relying on adults for guidance in their lives.  I think kids think if we can't say something as seemingly simple as their name, how can we be an expert on anything?

I'm sure I've had that thought when I've corrected someone and they still call me by the wrong name.  How hard can it BE!

Here's what happens with common names spelled uniquely:  they get butchered to every extent of the law.  Those of us who try to remember usually have to make some elaborate mnemonic device in the brain to make sure we spell it correctly or we come up with some approximation that isn't quite right.  And kids get upset.  I don't blame them.

I can't believe I've had enough Savannah/Savannas that now i have to say "with an H or no H?".  Or a class with two Aidans, where one spells it Aidan and one spells it Aiden.  I like that one, actually, because when I write it, we know which is which right away.

And do you know what happens with hyphenated last names?  Gradebook programs don't love this, so when they print attendance lists, if the last names happen to be long, we get 3 letters of the first name.  If the name is Smith-Brown, John it's not such a big deal, but when it's Fitzpatrick-Sullivan, Nathaniel, well, we usually end up with Fitzpatrick-Sullivan, Na and then we don't know where to go from there.  Nathan?  Nathaniel?  Nathalie?  Narwhal?  (Oh, it's only a matter of time before Narwhal walks through my door.)

Ever called roll the first time you've seen a class and held your breath with every other name because you don't want to destroy their names but you also don't even know if you're seeing the whole thing?

Or, even worse, you don't know if it's a boy or girl?  I've taught girl Ryans, Taylors, Corys and new for me this year, a girl Aidan.  I always make sure to put girl next to their name for my sub plans so that the sub will know.  Because that has to be yet another identity crisis in the making.

Don't get me wrong, I have often thought some of the names I've seen are really clever.  I love the blended parent names, for example.

And all of those old names like Hazel and Edith are coming back and surprisingly, the cute kids who wear those names wear it well and don't look like the 90 year old ladies my brain conjures up.

So, after all this rambling about names, where are we going?  I have never ever, not one time, ever seen a name and thought "Well, that's ridiculous".  I've heard plenty of colleagues grumble about names or roll their eyes, but I usually think it's fine.  Whatever.  As long as I can pronounce it and remember if you're a boy or girl, I'm good with it.

And then yesterday, I heard a name that just pushed me past my limit.  A girl told me her younger sister's  name is Pebbles.  And my first thought was "WHAT???  That's just RIDICULOUS" and that thought was immediately followed by "Do you have a brother named BamBam?"  And somehow, I kept my mouth shut.  All I said was "Did you say her name is Pebbles?"  and she said "Yes" like that was not at all an unusual name.

After all, Wilma, Fred, Betty, none of those are weird.  And I know someone named Dino.

And then I thought of all those Barneys out there.  All of whom were born before that purple dinosaur Loved You and Me, all of whom conjured up images of the stone age.  And I wondered if in 20 years these kids will name their kids Barney and the first image their teachers will have will be a large, purple dinosaur and think "Well, that's just ridiculous."

Linking here:
http://www.myturnforus.com/2015/11/freedom-fridays-with-all-my-bloggy_19.html
http://www.thequinntessentialmommy.com/meetup-monday-link-party-46/ 
http://www.the-chicken-chick.com/2015/11/clever-chicks-blog-hop-166.html