Pigloo - Le ragga des Pingouins

I simply cannot get enough of this cute French song. I haven't figured out all of the words but it's just so cute. The chicken dance but it's the penguin dance. Très charmant!

Just Can't Help It

I've become a really big fan of this site called wedinator.com There are hundreds of the most insane pictures of weddings and whomever it is that comments on them really cracks me up.

In this picture, I'm not so concerned that the bridesmaids are all in lingerie, cuz if you're bridesmaids all look decent in it, why not? I'm more worried about what that food is on the table! Is it already eaten? and thrown back up? Is that how they stay so skinny? Is it barbeque? Lobster? Roast beef? Really hard to tell.




Now, just who can you invite to the kind of wedding shown below?



Grandma? No, that would kill her. Mom and Dad? No, they'd gouge their eyes out. Friends? Enemies? I just don't know.

Umm, the bra goes on the INSIDE, I think.

Mr. Bell, the Original Butt Dialer

When one is the victim of a butt dialing, can one listen to the conversation without being called an eavesdropper? It seems that I am a frequent victim of the butt dial. I never actually carry my phone on my person, so I can't fathom how a person can butt dial. Especially since sometimes I am not a person that the dialer would call often, so I don't comprehend how it happens. Like I doubt I was the last call the person made so just hitting send shouldn't connect to me.

K-ster is a frequent butt dialer and sometimes I get a kick out of listening to the background noise. I can tell if he's in a store if there's a beeping scanner, or I can listen to him telling a story. But sometimes it's just annoying. Sadly, my phone works only in odd places in the house, so I go running from somewhere to answer because GOD FORBID someone should be calling to book a jewelry show and I might miss it.

Yesterday, I got a call from someone who just recently got my phone number. She rides at the barn where I ride. I couldn't imagine why she was calling. I could hear her talking but couldn't tell if she was talking to me or had butt dialed. So I listened for a few minutes. She called to her dogs, then began a conversation with "(name I couldn't hear) just called and said they STOLE the body off the truck. The guy said he'd leave the money there but when he went to get it, the body was missing and there was no money."

My first thought was OH NO, someone stole the barn truck and they think it's me!
My second thought was OH NO, she's involved in the mob and they are selling bodies! My third thought was HEY how long should I listen before it's considered rude????

I realized she was not talking to me and I had no patience, so I hung up and sent her a text. She was amused and said her BF's truck body was stolen. Not stolen without knowledge (because how can a person go to all of the work of stealing a truck bed and NO ONE sees it happening) but stole it because there was no money left. When I looked back at my text I thought perhaps I should erase it, lest the feds get it and think I'm involved in selling bodies or moving them off trucks. But then I thought I'd live on the edge and leave it on there.

Do you think Alexander Graham Bell thought this is what we would be doing with the phone 100 years after he figured it out? Was he like "Yes, now future generations can use their butts to call people and relay information that perhaps shouldn't be relayed."

This made me start thinking about Morse Code. Really, texting isn't all that different from Morseing, which is what we would have called it if we all lived back then. Except I doubt anyone ever accidentally sat on the telegraph and butt Morsed someone else. Or maybe that's how the first trans-Atlantic message was sent but they are afraid to put it in the history books.

Church On the Beach

A local Methodist church has Sunday morning services at 7:30 on the pier at the beach for the summer. I love going because it's really casual and it's outside and I just think it's neat. Someone brings a chocolate lab that sprawls out on the pier and snoozes through the whole thing. People bring chairs or you can sit on the benches. They bring a small sound system. It's pretty neat to see people fishing or going out in their boats while the service is going on.

And while the service is ultra casual, I wonder if some people think about what they are wearing. I have no problem with the runner who accidentally finds church on the beach and stays in running clothes. Or the man who will soon be on his wind surfer. But the woman in front of me wearing a t-shirt that has something funny about drunk lobsters? Something I don't exactly understand? Not exactly church material. On the back of her shirt, there was a picture of a bunch of lobsters sitting at a bar and one fell off the chair onto the floor. And it said something like "watch for falling lobsters." Hmmm.

Baring It All

Sometimes I can't find the funny in a normal situation, so I have to rely on the nonsensical that takes place in my dreams. Often that is funny enough.

If you know me, you know I am a volunteer aholic and I am especially devoted to the Cultural Center. So devoted in fact, that I had a fantastic dream last night. I dreamed I went to a doctor's office to get a donation for the Center. I was to speak to a woman named Snow White. I figured her name was Snow, last name White, so when I met her, I called her Snow. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I've heard some of the strangest names you can imagine, so a woman named Snow, while odd, didn't throw me. No, her first name was Snow White. And she had something to do with microscopes in this office. So I went into her lab and marveled at the microscopes and then she said it was much too hot so we should go outside. I noticed her hair was white (Snow White, perhaps) and in a bun like the granny from Sylvester and Tweety. A middle aged lady named Snow White.

When we got outside, she had a desk and comfy banker's chair and directed me to get a chair from some other table. We were in the middle of some huge quad between buildings. Apparently it was VERY hot because I took of my shirt and eventually took of my pants so I was there in a sports bra and underwear and kept thinking "uh it's for the arts, who cares?". At some point I put my clothes back on, she gave me $1500 and I was tickled.

Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet

Flip flops are the only shoe a person can't sweat in, right? Your foot is completely free to breathe all it wants. So how is it possible that I am wearing flip flops right now that smell so awful I think I might have to go barefoot for the rest of the day????? None of my shoes smell anywhere near this bad. How is this possible?

One Pancake At A Time

Many years ago, we were at someone's house (my whole family) and though we were in a hurry, my father said we could have breakfast in their house. We were staying in their yard in a motorhome. To protect the slow, I will make up a name. Let's call her Ethel. Ethel is a rather laid back person, nothing is ever done in a hurry. I don't think she has worried a day in her life. So, she offered to make us pancakes. There are 5 of us and 4 of them, so that's a lot of pancakes. We were used to our mother who makes like 4 at a time in the pan, so weren't we surprised when Ethel made ONE pancake at a time. I don't mean one HUGE, pan sized pancake. I mean just just poured in a little batter and made ONE at a time. We each got one and my mother hauled us out at lightning speed so we could get going and my father was like "WHAT took so long" and she said "Ethel made ONE pancake at a time." This became like a mantra for a long time.

I hadn't thought of this in years but today, it all came rushing back. My parents and their friends frequent a local deli for Sunday breakfast. I happen to think the place is gross. It's very tired. The ceramic ware is very old and banged up, there is a terrible theme of clown everywhere that should be cute but is scary, there's no room to wait, so everyone stares at you while you're eating, and it's just kind of gross, like I said before. To appease the masses, I go on mother's day, father's day and occasionally if someone is visiting, like a relative. I usually don't order food, but today guess what sounded good? PANCAKES.

As the waitress came to deliver the food, she asked me if I had pancakes with bacon but when I said just pancakes, she said she had forgotten to put that order in and she gave me ONE pancake. I was like "Umm, is ETHEL in the kitchen???"

Really, what are the odds that a) I would even go there, b) I would order food and c) the one thing I order wasn't ready like it should have been?????