The Chair

When I first moved into this house, I didn't have a lot of furniture.  K-ster brought a few pieces with him and my favorite became a rocking  chair.

Over time, we got decent furniture and there was no more room for the chair.

My sister a-ster took it to Seattle with her about a decade ago and then she brought it to her new house on the east coast when she moved a couple of years ago.  She was in love with it.

Like I was.

We love this chair because we are short and so is it.  It rocks but it's not crazy and doesn't move all over the places like some rocking chairs.

Apparently l-ster loved it too because she was nursed in it many times in her first year.

Sadly, the chair was replaced with a "real" rocking chair for Mother's day this year.  Probably because s-ster didn't think it was safe after he had to glue it together in more places than I can explain.  Because the chair is probably as old as I am.

So, what do you think happened to the chair when a-ster got her 'real' one?


Of course!  She sent it home with our parents and it's been sitting in my living room for a month.  I told her she could keep the cushions and I'd make new ones. 

I'm so glad the chair finally found its purpose. 

And I can't believe k-ster hasn't dragged it upstairs to put it out of its (his) misery.  Because it's really in the way.  And completely ridiculous with no cushions.

And now that it's holding laundry, it might never be used for its proper function.  Ever.  Again.

K-ster hates it when I post pictures of messy rooms.  At least it's all tidy in one chair, right?

Many Puns Intended

I have the most juvenile sense of humor.  It takes so very little to have me rolling.  Especially if it's a pun and a witty one at that.

It's all my 4th grade teacher's fault.  She taught us about puns.  The one I remember the most vividly,and which still makes me laugh is this one:

An ant was standing on the top of a potato chip bag.  He read the directions and suddenly he ran as fast as he could across the top.  His friend asked what the heck was wrong and he said "I'm following the directions.  It says tear along dotted line!"

Have you recoverd yet?

I found this post the other day and I decided it was so hysterical, I had to share with all of you.  Go read them and then come back and tell me about your favorite.

Was it #21?  Because that might be the one that would make me blow milk out of my nose.

That's A Horse of A Different Color

First, I'd like to introduce you to the laziest horse in New England.

This is Dewey.  It was so tiring eating all that hay at 9:30am, he had to lay down to do it.  For like a half hour!  Dewey bites, so I don't really like Dewey.  And now I know he's lazy, so one more strike against him.


The other day, I mentioned that I've been riding Jake.  After all this time with Tucker, there is a lot that's different about Jake.  For example, his size.

Jake is only about a hand shorter than Tucker, but I have never seen over Tucker's back!  I can see right over Jake's and I can look right at his spine.  I don't even know if Tucker has a spine.

Everything is just a little smaller.  Smaller head, smaller feet, smaller belly- well, maybe not.

And he's a very different color.  Tucker is bay which to me means different shades of dark brown.  Jake is chestnut which is lighter but in the sun, he's coppery like a penny.  He's really pretty when he's all cleaned up.  He's also a quarter horse where Tucker is a Thoroughbred.

He's also got a very different gait and the ride is so different that the first time, it was like I'd never ridden a horse before.  He has a self propelling engine that takes nothing to get him going, and I couldn't make him stop for anything the first time.  He's much more sensitive to my leg than Tucker, so I cantered from almost a standstill the second time I rode him which was a surprise to all of us.  He understand my signals better than Tucker, so I can focus more on what I'm supposed to be doing instead of wondering why he isn't listening to me.

He's also just that much closer to the ground that if I fell off, it might not seem soooooo far down.

Cantering has been many a subject I've blogged about because it's the one gait that scares me and thrills me at makes me crazy all at once. Where Tucker's canter is like booooiiinngg, booooiiinngg, booooiiinngg, Jake's is boing, boing, boing and it feels ridiculous.  Shorter legs mean a shorter stride and self propelling means little work to get him moving so a lot of my cantering with Jake has been racing around.  Sometimes, I feel like I'm riding a dog who's after a rolling ball!

He also has this very scary habit of leaning in when he's cantering on a circle which scares the pants off of me because I am certain we will just fall right over.  Tucker does not do that.  Instead, Tucker doesn't like the way I ask him to canter, so he bucks and kicks and refuses and then stops at the slightest indication that I might be thinking about stopping.

It's fascinating to learn the way another horse operates, especially after only ever riding one other horse.  I have no idea how long I will ride Jake before going back to Tucker but I like some of the differences I've noticed between them.  I certainly don't work as hard to get Jake to work as I do with Tucker.  I leave feeling like I exercised but not like I've run a marathon, the way I sometimes feel after I ride Tucker!
 

Bounty Hunter

So far this spring, I've been getting a good amount of Swiss Chard and green beans, but you've seen those before, so I'll spare you the pictures.  I also had a surprise lettuce and ate most of it, though I wonder if that was the best idea.  Sometimes I get weirded out when I get surprise plants, especially when I didn't plant any lettuce last year....

The best new offering from garden #1 has been these little beauties:

I've had strawberries growing for years, but I never get more than 2-3 berries to actually eat.  The others have always been eaten by slugs. 

This year, I've picked 4 big handfuls like this and there are a lot more.  For the most part, the pests seem to be leaving them alone.  They aren't the sweetest, probably because I am mean to them and they dont' get much sun, but I'm pleased that they are growing so well.

The first big loot that I've been getting from garden #2 are these:

I grow peas every stinkin' year and they grow meager little plants with about 3 pods each and then it gets too hot and they die off.  Never anything spectacular.  Plus, I never plant enough.

This year, I planted A LOT in buckets in the greenhouse and then moved them outside when it was still really cold.  O.M.G.  Look at these plants!

There are so many and they are so lush and dark green.  And so tall!

They are literally taller than me.  Peas!  Can you believe it???

Just for fun, I thought I'd show you how the carrots and beets are doing.  After the very traumatic munchfest by the slugs and then the ripping out by the crows, they've come back with a vengeance.  I put little styrofoam collars around all of them and they seemed to really get a good start.  My theory was that the slugs were too lazy or stupid to climb all the way up and then down inside the cups.  And that must be it, because they stayed away.

Since I removed the cups, I've only dealt with one slug and we had a ton of rain this week and things seem to be happy out there.

I've never grown underground vegetable before, ok, except this one time,  so now I have to figure out when I can pick them.  I know you can brush away the dirt and see what they look like from up top, but I'm so curious, I want to know NOW!

I have more seeds so I think I'll start more beets and carrots for a mid summer round and then try another for fall.

Dressing Me Up

We had an optional dress up day for 6th grade students today.  The topic somehow came up and the kids said they'd dress up but the teachers had to dress down.  That seemed like a strange trade off:  we get to be comfortable and the kids have a self imposed day of discomfort?

Count me in.

What I didn't realize is that the rest of the school had no idea this was going on.  So, seeing some 6th grade boys in ties and a few girls in heels wasn't so eyebrow raising.

Seeing the French teacher who usually dresses like this, or this  or this  oh no, wait they've never seen me like that, dress like this:

Really threw them for a loop.   I would never say I am a snazzy dresser.   I am a far cry from stylish or up to the minute in my fashion choices.  I refuse to tuck in my shirts, so I wouldn't wear a belt if you paid me.  Ok, I would if you paid me, but it would have to be cash and lots of it.

So wearing a t-shirt with words all over it and yoga pants and sneakers just sent them around the bend.  My wonderful colleagues flooded me with:

 "oh, is it field day?"
"did you just go for a run?"
"dressing for success today, are you?"

While my 7th grade students whispered and stared until I had to address my outfit in every class with them.  That made them laugh.

Again, I'm not fancy but I rarely wear anything with a print, let alone a word on it, and I never wear sneakers, so the two together was too much for everyone.

8th grade didn't say a word- SHOCKER.  I could be standing there naked and they wouldn't even notice.  They live in an oblivion like no other.  Seriously, I might show up naked tomorrow just to see what they'd do.

Let me tell you what a comfortable day I had.  Wow.  I just felt so free and easy.  This might catch on.  Uh-oh.

Maybe tomorrow I'll try this outfit.  Oh right, no hats in school.

Maybe this one.  What, it's a skirt, the tank top is at least 3 fingers wide.  Oh yeah, again, not hats.

Seriously, naked is looking like my only option. Let's link up with the Finding the Funny ladies and Saturday Laughs and  see what they think. There's a giveaway at Finding the Funny,  so GO!

Mini Tarts Are So Exquisite

Now that I have some of the Pampered Chef items that I never intended to buy (such as the mini tart maker), I thought I'd try them out so I'll know what to expect.

I googled mini tarts and this was the first one that popped up. Amazingly fast to make and sooooo delicious.  Sadly, mine do not look so gorgeous but they taste gorgeous and I learned my lesson about letting things cool.

So, in a very rare scenario in my kitchen, I took frozen, store bought pie crust and set it out to thaw.   I don't EVER have pie crust waiting in my freezer like that but back when I was trying to horde gas points, I bought a bunch because they were going to double my points.

But then my sister stole my points and I was left with boxes of frozen pie crust to wallow in for months.

I read in one of the Pampered Chef cookbooks that you could use this measuring cup to cut the perfect size for the tart pan and I was amazed at how well it worked.

Pardon me, I looked up the tart pan on my website and it turns out  that it's called a Deluxe Mini Muffin pan.  Tomatoes, tomatoes, tarts, muffins.  Whatever.

I am so rockin' the Pampered Chef lingo.

I bet they have NO IDEA you can also roll your leftover scraps with it too!  You know me, I can't rest with one idea, I just have to keep seeing what else I can come up with.  This is that really cool measuring cup you can use for peanut butter and crisco and all that sticky stuff that never comes out of your measuring cups.

So, then you take the magic little wooden pusher thing and push the circles into the tart pan.  Again with the proper verbiage.

Wow,  it was like I was a gourmet chef.  The recipe actually had a crust you make yourself, but I wanted to see if the whole refrigerated crust idea would work, so I had to imagine what the baking time would be.  I baked them at 450 because the box said to, for a about 8 minutes because I said to.  Maybe a minute or two more.  I suggest peeking often or those suckers will burn!

 
So cute, I want to make like 50,000 of them! 

I did not wait anywhere near long enough for the custard to cool, and then adding fruit to them made them tip and get really ugly.

But it was the taste that counted and WOW.  Very excellent.  Although I am kind of done with pie crust.  I would rather have had a shortbread crust, maybe.

What do you do with your little muffin pan things that make little tart shells?  Ideas are welcome!!

Nacho, Nacho Man/Lady

I am not a big food lover, though I do discuss food quite often on my blog. I'm pretty sure food is the thing that kills us, but we need it to survive. This is the ridiculous paradox in which I live.

I generally am a healthy eater and I am not a fan of restaurants. Usually, anything I get in a restaurant is sub par because there's always that one thing about it it that ruins it- too much salt/grease/fat, too much of this or that spice, too much of the food in general, not cooked the way I'd do it, etc.

And then there's the price.

And the tip.

And the harassment by the wait staff:  canigetyousomethignelse, howarethingshere, canigetyouadessert/coffee

I do occasionally succumb to the lure of the ease of going to a restaurant and I can find a few things on some menus around here that please me enough.

One such place is the BBC, or British Beer Company. It's a very hoakey place that is meant to make you think you're in a quiet old pub in England. They put dirty looking paint on the walls with quotes from famous Brits. They have a mini telephone booth that's like the style in England (I know, what the heck is a telephone booth????). They have all sorts of British Beer.

And last night, they even had a family of Brits.  I was amazed they'd go in.  I don't think I'd go into a place in London called The American Honky Tonk. 

And they have these.

Right, who orders nachos in a British place?  I do.  And I do it with abandon.  I don't know what they do to these things, but they call to me and make me fantasize for months.  And I eat the whole thing.

Ok, I don't eat all of that sour cream, but I eat just about every other piece of it.  As my meal.  And I eat it like I might never have food again.  I make a mess.  I dont' even come up for a sip of beverage.

K-ster could burst into flames and be replaced by Jesus himself and I wouldn't even notice until I was done eating.  Or until he tried to take a chip.  I don't like it when someone tries to "share" with me.

Here's what in this marvelous dish:

cheese
various colors of tortilla chips
olives
salsa
tomatoes
lettuce
jalapenos

Now there's the interesting part.  I hate jalapenos.  I don't like spicy food and anywhere but at the BBC, they are not very spicy.  I don't like it when k-ster eats them because they create a stench in his mouth that I can smell as his truck pulls in the driveway- not kidding.  He could never win at hide and seek with me if he were to eat jalapenos 24 before hiding.  I'd sniff him right out.

Somehow, amidst all of the beauty that is deliciousness in this nachofest, I can and do eat the little suckers.  I pick out a lot of them but I eat a lot too.  And I don't taste them for hours later.  I don't have acid reflux for days afterwards.

Basically, when I'm eating these nachos, I'm like a pig in shit.  Pleased as punch.  Happy as a clam.

Don't tell anyone that knows me though.  This dish might indicate that I too can fall off the healthy food wagon.