Saturday, June 12, 2010


We went to a wedding last night that was right on the water. Right after the ceremony, the bride and groom went out on a friend's catamaran and "cruised" around the bay. It was a really pretty night. They put out the sail but there wasn't enough wind, so they had to use engine power too.

They could have floated off to Europe for all the guests knew though. I think the plan was that everyone was supposed to stand at watch while the new couple went down the dock and then cruised around and then we were all supposed to wave as they went by and have a very Hollywood moment. Instead, people were inside having cocktails and fancy cocktail food and even when the bride's father whistled, causing all conversation to come to a screeching halt, to tell us the plan, no one really moved to go wave at them. So, like my cat who likes to lay uside down like a dead cat to get my attention while I ignore her, so too did the bride and groom cruise around for 20 minutes while we were supposed to wave. At least I went and took a picture so I did witness it. Other people were too busy licking, I mean looking at the ice sculpture and helping themselves to the open bar to notice.

This is the kind of thing that makes me think everyone should be handed a script with all of the stage prompts instead of a program. This way everyone will know exactly what to expect, where they need to be, at what time, whether they enter stage left or right. I happen to think wedding planners are wackos but when someone has the money to orchestrate an event of this proportion then it does make sense to have a captain directing the team at all times so everyone is where they should be when they should be there.

And then I tried to imagine what the 2 little kids who attended must have thought:
1. mommy and daddy got us all dressed up and have been trying to keep us quiet at this really fancy place
2. all of the adults seem to think we are so cute all dressed up but they are making funny faces as we run around banging on the sliders
3. we walked down like 4 million steps to go to the beach but we can't actually go ON the beach; we have to sit on white chairs in rows looking at the beach that we can't go onto
4. here come lots of ladies in purple dresses and men in suits and then a lady in white with her father; we're supposed to be very quiet but we just want to know why everyone's dressed up at the beach and why can't we play in the sand?
5. now someone is talking on and on and mommy is trying to keep us quiet while the adults give us more funny looks
6. now everyone is standing and clapping while the lady and man leave and we have to climb back up the 4 million steps.
7. now that lady and man are walking away from everyone and THEY GET TO GO ON A BOAT! how come we can't go on the boat? does anyone even see them? no, but they heard my sister break a glass...

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