Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I Win, For A Change

Saturday, I accidentally bought myself some boots.  Well, that's not true.  The accident was that I found them.  I intentionally bought them.  I had been on a recent quest for boots that were

a)  waterproof (this is not the same as water resistant)
b)  not too expensive
c)  not UGGS, or even resembling UGGS
d)  able to go on easily, without zippers or laces

I have some LLBean hikers that are just above my ankle, and after the many years I've had them, I realized this winter that when we have snow that is deeper than 4 inches, I have a problem with my pantlegs getting wet and if it's too deep, I can't go outside without snow pants.  Thus began the quest mentioned above.

HOwever, I sincerely despise boots the likes of which I just mentioned.  I don't like the look of them, I don't like the heat they produce in my feet as the day goes on, I don't like the lack of support in them, and most of all, thanks to middle school girls who wear their Uggs 24/7/365, I have learned that they STINK to high heavens and I never want to subject someone to that.  Amazingly, the narcissist has a whole deal about Uggs right now, you can even enter to win. Go see what that's all about.  I warn you, it's not for the sissies.  The beginning is about the Uggs deal but the rest is very naughty, so you are warned.  If I were to enter this contest, I would win because I hate Uggs that much.  It would be my curse.

So, I visited Westies because it was convenient and they had boots galore.  I lowered my expectations slightly, and opted for a pair that had a zipper because they claimed they were water resistant (yes, I know what this means) but that you could also slog through ANYTHING for 6 months and stay dry.  In my mental dictionary, water resistant means that material will soak through if you stand in water for too long, but occasional splashes will just roll off.  It has nothing to do with the zipper.  Here they are in very granny/6th grade girl fashion.  Funny, they were actually olive green because the brown that I wanted, which is what this looks like, were gone.  I settled for olive green and figured I would survive.  And I could stylishly tuck in my pantlegs so as to keep them dry.

I thought I'd waltz over to the grocery and try them out in the snow.  100 yards, no problem.  Then I saw a great big puddle and thought that would be a good test.  In poured the water through the bottom of the zipper.  Ewww gross.

I decided right then and there they were going back because that was clearly a defect.  The signs everywhere said they could only be returned if there was a defect and you could get store credit.  I was OK with the credit part of it.  However, I could not find my receipt anywhere.  ANY.WHERE.  I had just seen it earlier, so where on God's earth it went is still a mystery.  But I didn't care.  I was going to march up there first thing the next day and tell them my plight and if that didn't work, I was googling the company and they were gonna get a piece from me.

I walked in, looking very angry.  The same girl was there, so I told her my plight.  She was annoyed and explained to me water resistant vs waterproof.  I whipped out the special card that guaranteed my happiness for 6 months and explained that it wasn't a matter of the water coming through the material but right in through the zipper.  She told me to spray them.  I explained again that this would not help.  Shockingly, she allowed me to return them for store credit.

I should have left, but I decided to wander around looking at the selection again.  This made her think I was such a simpleton that I needed some guidance in my selection for waterproof boots.  We discussed the high and lows of ankle boots and duck boots.  Then I wandered some more and she came over to berate me for not knowing the difference between waterproof and water resistant because, according to someone on the phone, that brand is only water resistant.  She said "I mean, of  course, if you walk in a puddle, your feet will get wet."

Well, where I come from, a 6 month guarantee lasts for 6 months, so I wasn't budging.  I was surprised that at that point, she didn't ask me for my credit slip back since she should not have taken them back in the first place.  I decided I had had enough and left.  There are other Westies, I will find some other shoe.

So, I found what I think might work.  I think they will arrive by Friday, so I might be able to do a feel good moment about them.  I assure you they are not Uggs!!


  1. I have accidentally bought a new pair of Converse on purpose. Those are the best purchases.

    I loved this part:

    "I explained again that this would not help. Shockingly, she allowed me to return them for store credit."

    This is the first year I have purchased and worn boots in at least 15 years and I have to say it has been so liberating I just can't put it into words.

    Mine are like rain/snow boots. They're rubber, I think, and those suckers really are water resistant/waterproof. I know. No one wants to utter the word waterproof, but these boots are and they make me extremely happy.

    I can't wait to see what you ended up with.

  2. Yeah, I was rethinking my statement about accidentally buying boots and how ridiculous that would be. Like I get home, there is a box of boots on my couch and a charge on my credit card and I'm like "OMG, how did that happen??? I never meant for it to be this way! Oh look, they fit, like they were meant to be mine!"

    I have gone to stores and accidentally forgotten about what I was there to get in the first place and I've come home with everything but. But an accidental purchase... I guess they are always intentional!

    Yeah, mine might have a little rubber in them. The idea that I can splash through anything that's up to 6 inches deep is a pretty exciting thought. I never mentioned in those 2 posts my severe aversion to wet feet. I would almost rather cut off my toes than have them wet. Ever, Unless I'm in a pool or the ocean or a shower. But get my feet a little wet in the damp grass? My day is ruined.

  3. Oh I hate buying shoes. Hope the new ones work!

  4. I love boots, and very often end up "accidentally" buying a pair or two. (Two meaning that I'd buy the same one in 2 diferent colours because really, they were just so gorgeous and really, I couldn't choose, and one lame excuse on top of the other...). Anyway UGGS? In my opinion They're not boots, massive expensive sleepers maybe but that's it. Why do people keep calling them boots and wearing them outside? I have no freaking idea...

    Now, bless you on the NO UGGS wise choice and hope you'll enjoy your friday delivery ;)


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