Wednesday, August 6, 2014

A Series Of Peculiar Events

I think I've been in some kind of Twilight Zone episode for the better part of this summer.  I keep stumbling in to real head-scratching/head-shaking situations, some of which I haven't yet solved.

1.  There was the slippery floor incident that I mentioned here.  But that was resolved.  Sort of.

2.  Then there was this.

How can ham be peculiar?  Do you see that it's deli ham?  Do you notice there is none of the waxed paper that usually comes with deli ham?

I was at the deli counter and as the kid was cutting the ham, I thought it was strange that he hadn't put down the waxed paper like they usually.  He was slicing it into his freshly gloved hand.  I had no problem with that.

But when he went to put it on the scale, he put it on top of one of the plastic bags that they put it in.  I still wasn't too worried because I thought he meant to grab a waxed paper and grabbed a bag instead.  But when he got the second bag and wrapped the ham in the first, I said "umm, aren't you going to use waxed paper?" 

He said they didn't have any, if I could believe it.  Well, no, I could not believe it.  How do you run out of such a staple in a deli?

And how safe is it to be eating ham wrapped in plastic that's wrapped in plastic?

3.  I was getting gas from a place I never go to the other day and when it was time to pay, the boy who might have been 20 at the most, called me dear.  As in "you're all set dear". 

Really?

At what point to men start calling strangers dear?  Surely it's not the ripe old age of 20. 

4.  I was posting a picture on instagram of a trade I made with my mother, corn for something I grew in my garden and out popped this:
Everything appears normal until after the 4 corns.  The rest of it was a phrase I had copied and pasted somewhere else.  Somehow it was still on my clipboard and I can't imagine how I pasted it in the middle of the sentence about the corn.  But it posted before I even realized it.

It was good for pants wetting laughter, alone, in my hammock until I deleted it.  K-ster didn't understand why it was so funny.

Maybe because he couldn't understand a word I was saying because I was laughing so hard.

I'm still laughing.

The phrase was from a student survey asking what they thought  I should do to improve my class.

5.  A woman has called me twice, asking each time if I am the cultural center.  Both times, I've told her that I am affiliated with it, but this is not the number of the center.  Both times, she wanted to know if I knew what was offered that night.  By chance I actually knew the details of one of the nights. 

No good will come of this and she will continue to call me to ask what's happening tonight at the cultural center.  But you can tell by her voice she's old and I feel bad telling her to stop calling me.

6. My parents live next door and I arrived home the other day to see the house washers there to pressure wash the house and deck.   After all the partying when my sister was here, followed by the Bauer BBQ, the chairs and tables had been moved onto the deck, off the deck, around the deck in every position you could imagine.

Much to my surprise, the house washers took all of the furniture back off the deck so they could wash it.  And they left it on the lawn for the deck to dry.

Imagine my surprise, when I drove in the next day to see the lawn guy putting all of the furniture BACK onto the deck so he could run around with his volatile chemicals to make the lawn so lush and green.

In my experience, people don't usually move things so they can do their job, you're expected to move it if you want the job done and yet here on the compound, my mother finagled a way to get workers to do each others' jobs.

She can be sly like that.

7.  Finally, I signed up for an online conference for teachers.  Basically a nerdfest.  But after I frantically tried to "visit" all of the sessions and thought I'd missed the whole thing, I realized all of the times were pacific so I hadn't missed a thing.  This wasn't made very clear and I kept going in circles around the website trying to figure out why I wasn't cool enough to get into these virtual sessions.

As I mentioned in this post, there is no end to the entertainment provided here.

1 comment:

  1. You've had a weird week and I am with you on the "dear" thing - that is weird coming from anyone younger than the age of 75.

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