Death By Alan Jackson

I bought this nifty little radio/speaker from LL Bean on clearance. Bottom right corner, white and orange box. I can plug my ipod into it and play tunes for my water aerobics and Pilates classes at Richmere and it's quite impressive. It's solar powered, or you can crank it until your arm falls off, or you can plug it in and charge it. I've had it going now for about 5 hours on just the radio and it's happy as can be.

Anyway, I looked onto the patio and there's Gwenstopher looking totally dead and playing in the background is Alan Jackson. She's been out here listening to the radio all day but it appeared that she had had enough by the time I took the picture. She didn't even notice.

Pilates on the Beach

Hmm, Church on the Beach, Pilates on the Beach, there seems to be a theme here. I have been teaching water aerobics at a swanky private summer club for 5 years. Water aerobics does not thrill me and I decided I wouldn't do it this summer. It's just not stimulating for me, the women prefer to gab rather than work, and I just don't feel like I'm giving them the workout they need. $5 more per hour changed my mind.

This year, the club I'll call Richmere, was bought by someone else and they are going to really swankify it. They want to grow the membership and make it a year round destination club, not just for the summer people. Enter the suggestion of adding Pilates at the beach. I was expecting the same crowd as water aerobics and let's just say, they are not the Pilates type. Not that I am trying to stereotype since I believe in my heart anyone CAN do Pilates, they just have to be willing to work. And the Pool Ladies just aren't ready to work.

However, these hot mommas I had in Pilates today were ready to work and it was fun. I kept looking around thinking I felt like I was on one of those fitness shows in Hawaii where they do it right on the beach. Boys were setting up chairs and umbrellas, kids were playing in bathing suits and there we were, legs in the air, doing Pilates. A shining moment for the Richmere folks, I am sure. But there's a new sheriff in town and he wants more members, so fit bodies with great legs in the air, it is.

It's reasons like this that remind me why I choose to live where I do and why I chose the career I did. Yes, 3 towns away they have a BOIL WATER order today, and yes, we have more homelessness than anyone cares to acknowledge and YES, we year rounders do have to make alternate driving plans if we actually plan to GET SOMEWHERE during the summer, and yes, we have to put up with the $&&## hole drivers from New York (I never used to believe that but you are all just the worst drivers EVER) but it is a wonderful place to live and I wouldn't change it for the world. What other career besides education would allow me the freedom to teach fitness on the beach of my own free will in the summer but still have a job in the winter? And that's pretty darn great.

Random Thoughts Thursday

I didn't like the Blog Bash challenge today, so I don't have a task. I'm left to my own devices. I think it's pretty funny anyway, that a bunch of grown women are taking orders from a teen at http://www.notyouraverageteen.com/ and doing our assignments because she tells us to. What is wrong with us? So here is a collection of the randomness in my head:

1. I have been buying bags of organic lemons lately and I have to tell you, they actually smell! I never used to smell lemons when I walked by the fruit bowl, but these organic lemons actually give off the most pleasant odor. They don't have that waxy resin coating that most citrus gets, so that must be the secret. I like to use lemons in things but lately, I just really love to smell them as I walk in and out of the kitchen. I don't think they smell differently because they are organic but because they are treated organically and not coated with something, the natural odor can actually come through. Very exciting.

2. The class I mentioned a few days ago, the one I dropped because they wanted us to have 4 face to face classes even though it clearly said the class would be online has been revised so I'm back in. I think everyone dropped when we were told to show up on campus the next day, so she revised the plan. Now it's all online but not what I thought. It's a French Immersion class with lots of communication, so I thought I would be Skyping. Instead, it's an old fashioned write and a read a million posts type thing. I'm not thrilled. There are actual assignments with due dates! Too much pressure. I am doing everything EXCEPT reading and writing like I am supposed to right now. Since I have my handy laptop that I won, I suppose I can do this anywhere but even with a laptop there are restrictions. This one is quite large and heavy. Had I bought one, this would not have been the model. My internet connection doesn't always work if I'm in the hammock. I just can't seem to get comfortable with this thing. However, I put up my 6 foot table to work on something and discovered that a small stool I have is just about the most perfect thing to sit on at this particular table to type. Hmmm.

3. It rained yesterday and it's so humid today I might just die. I think it's like 150% humidity right now and it just won't rain but it needs to. This means everything is soggy, including me and I hate to be trapped inside, so it's hard for me to justify sitting in the air conditioning even though it's miserably hot. My hammock is wet so I can't hang out in it and that makes me sad. I really like to spend some time each day in my hammock. It makes everything right with the world, somehow.

4. My aunt decided to have a Girls Game Night last night in her trailer and it was fun. We were supposed to sit outside where there is more room but it had rained and she recently had an episode with her awning, so there was no cover. We played inside and it was just right for 4 people. Next week there will be more people so we will have to play somewhere else if it rains or is buggy. We played Bananagrams which is my favorite game of late. It's a cool game because it comes in a zippered pouch that looks like a banana. You can carry it anywhere because there are just tiles, no board. It's like Scrabble but better because you can change your words whenever you want and each person is making their own little Scrabble game and competing to use all their letters first. I am a tad competitive so I enjoy it a lot. There is a speedier version called Banana Cafe but no one likes to play that version with me because I kick their ass every time. I'm speed and challenge oriented. Top it off with a prize that involves pink (the color, NEVER the singer) and I will just about kill a person if it means I can win. I lament that I never played organized sports but God knew that would have been a very bad idea and I would have knocked out everyone, including refs, if it meant I could have the ball. I was a cheerleader instead and we never did competitions so there wasn't too much harm that could be done.

It seemed like I had other randomness to share but nothing entertaining comes to mind so I'm off to try to get things done.

Craziest High School Memory

Today's Blog Bash Challenge over at www.notyouraverageteen.com is to talk about high school memories. I happened to really enjoy high school and have many many fond memories. I was a cheerleader and realized then that I love being in front of a crowd. I'm a little pressed for time, so I will recount my most famous one.

I sing. I've been a singer my whole life, from singing with a hairbrush in front of the mirror in our motorhome while driving to Florida to singing in a local well-known Chorale to singing at a wedding. In high school, I was in chorus and loved to sing. Another cheerleader and I sang the National Anthem at basketball games my junior, her senior year. I loved it. People said it was great. Who knows, they were probably just trying to butter me up for something. I'm just glad we didn't have American Idol then or I would have thought I should be America's next idol and I assure I would not have been.

When she graduated, I sang the National Anthem by myself. I still loved it but it was lacking a little something without her. One night, I got through the first verse. As I was beginning the 2nd verse, I had this horrible thought that I might have just started the song all over again because it sounded like the very same words might be coming out of my mouth. A conversation with myself began in my head as I was singing and I had no idea what was coming out. I did all of the thinking I could in those seconds while I was singing verse 2, sure that I was really just singing verse 1 all over again and I really couldn't decide.

So I stopped, mid word. And I said, into the microphone "I just forgot the words..." This caused hysterical roars of laughter, myself included and I wasn't really sure what to do. I didn't run away, I wasn't ashamed, I just stood there with the mic wondering if I should start again and maybe the words would come back to me. So I started over. And the crowd sang with me. And every single time I have sung it since (they let me continue singing at the games, with a mic and everything) I catch myself thinking that verse 2 sounds like verse 1 and I'm just repeating it. This is the sort of thing that happens when you go on auto pilot.**

Word got around very fast and there was a silent tension at the beginning of every game after that, wondering if I'd forget again. Instead, I'd just sing, hoping it would be fine, realizing that I'm not so afraid in front of crowds, especially if I have a mic. I LOVE my voice on a mic. I would talk on one all day if you gave me one.

My friend was in the auditorium next door to the gym while this was all happening. Her version is equally entertaining. She said they were having play practice and could hear someone singing and then all of a sudden there was silence. And then roaring. And then singing again.

Ahhh to be back in high school again.

** this has nothing to do with high school, but it involves my personal auto pilot. I got into that mode quite often, especially at school, when I am teaching the concept for the 3rd time that day and it's the 100th time in my career and I'm just on auto pilot. Sadly, this sometimes happens at the gym, when I am teaching a class, and I have to force myself to focus. For a long time, I taught Pilates and since the nature of Pilates is to do the same exercises all the time, my auto pilot had its own phD in the stuff. One day, I was auto piloting as we were warming up. A woman had just asked me about something that I thought I had already emailed her about. As auto was conducting the warm up, I thought "I'm sure I just emailed her" and as I tuned in, auto was saying "Good, now nice deep breath, INHALE and EMAIL". I kid you not.

Blog Bash 2010

I have no idea how I have been sucked into the blogosphere, but it's fun and I can't stop. A Blog Bash is underway and I decided to take part. It's pink and I'd do just about anything if you laced it with pink. Take candy right from a stranger if the candy was pink. Hop right in their car if the car was pink (how dangerous can a Mary Kay Lady BE??) My mother always said she never worried about anyone kidnapping me because I'd ask so many questions they'd bring me right back. I am supposed to answer the following questions, so here goes:

1.) Why do you blog?
Because I don't know many people who like to hear me go on and on and since I am much more clear when I write, it makes sense to me. If you don't like my lengthy diatribes, you can just go away. And I don't have to know that you are rolling your eyes or picking your nose or being naked while enjoying what I have to say.

2.) What do you blog about?
Whatever pops into my head that I think people will find amusing.

3.) What do you find to be the biggest reward you get from blogging?
Seeing the visitors from other countries pop up on the flag counter on the side bar. It's pretty cool that people from other countries are checking out my blog even if it's by accident.

4.) How long have you been blogging?
Since spring of 2009 but not seriously until May of this year.

5.) Let's hear the story behind your blog title! :)
I started selling lia sophia jewelry in 2008 www.liasophia.com/joannawatson. When I learned about blogging in a course I took, I thought it would be fun to create a blog about jewelry. But I didn't get any visitors. So I occasionally put things up but didn't really see any action. My sister clued me in to a very funny blog and I started looking at blogs that she was connected to and one thing led to another and I thought maybe people out there DO like to read twisted perspectives on every day occurrences. Rather than create a whole new blog, who can keep up with so many, I decided to let mine evolve.

I like to do everything outside. I garden, I do a lot of lawn mowing, I run(this just makes me sweaty), I ride a horse (such a filthy activity, I never knew). This results in many days where a cloud of dust follows me like Pigpen (where is Pigpen from? Peanuts? Was he a Little Rascal?) Even when I try to stay clean in the summer, I can't help pulling up a weed here, cleaning that there and I seem to be in a perpetual state of disarray. I am fair skinned so I wear sunblock and though they all say non greasy, they are greasy and attract dirt like a magnet. I wear hats to try to keep away the sun so my hair is often a disaster as well. I have to get really cleaned up to do a lia sophia jewelry show, but I can manage it. I stay pretty clean at school, too. Unless I'm taking something off a bookshelf that hasn't been moved all year, then I get dirty there too. So, I kept the lia sophia part of the title in case someone really did want to find out about jewelry but I thought Tomgirl was appropriate for me.

And in case you haven't read my post about outdoor showers, I LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE to take showers in my outdoor shower so it's a reward for all that dirty.

Don't Hate Me Because Of My Shorts

I mentioned on someone's blog that I am not a material person, but clothing has some significance to me and if anyone ever signed me up for What Not To Wear, I would be devastated when Stacy and Clinton made fun of and threw away my clothes. Some pieces have serious meaning to me and though they may not be fashionable and though I may not wear them, I still want them.

I have a tendency to stay the same size year after year after year. Don't throw things at me yet. This could be due to the neuroses I have about eating and the fact that I work hard to stay fit. And I can't sit still. I was not given gift where I can sit around and do nothing, eat whatever I want and still stay the same size. Glad I could clear that up. The bonus is this whirlwind life I live is that if the clothes will last, I can keep them for a decade. Or two. Case in point. Around 1993, I bought 2 pair of shorts at The Gap for about $8 each because they were super on sale. Remember when Gap would have those crazy sale racks at the back and you could really save? Remember when the Gap had clothes that actually looked new and not like someone had driven over the jeans about 18 times with a Mack truck? Back in those days, I shopped there a lot and never paid full price. Back to the shorts. One pair is really deep red and the other is light yellow. And they are on the shorter side. But being short myself, this hasn't been much of a problem, so I've kept them as fashion trends have come and gone. And today, I dug out the red pair and they still fit, so I'm wearing them.

While I do remain in the same size clothes from year to year, sometimes those clothes fit differently. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes not so good. This year, they fit nicely. I'm not constantly pulling at them as I have in the past. This makes Thrifty very happy because it means I don't have to keep buying new clothes. And when it's a solid color and fairly trendless, this is a good thing.

On the topic of clothing, you might remember my post about Church on the Beach. Today was great because it was stormy but not raining so they still held it. The clouds were quite low and dark but it was nice. However, I saw another one of those shirts I mentioned but this one made sense. Still not church attire, but it made sense. On the back of the shirt was the same bar as on the lobster shirt, but this time there were a bunch of moose sitting at the bar. One had fallen off and it said Watch For Moose Dropping. Ha ha ha ha I get it. Now I realize that the lobster thing on the other shirt said Watch for Lobster Dropping. But I do not get lobster dropping. Is this something we need to watch for in the ocean? Lobster droppings in big mounds you dont' want to step in and get all over your house? (Like I did with dog droppings on Christmas morning one year. ALL OVER THE HOUSE. It was like the Cat in the Hat with the pink footprints everywhere but this was brown and it was pretty and it wasn't funny. 3 rooms had footprints from my dirty shoe.) And really, this IS church even though it's on the beach. I don't think that toilet humor is appropriate at church no matter where it's held!!

Telephone Poles and Underwear

Someone, somewhere is making an obscene joke out of that title right now, but these are the random thoughts in my head today.

First. Our friends were sharing a story this weekend where she thought, as she was driving around being a rural vet, that telephone poles are kind of mysterious in their origin. Her question was, are they made from very tall trees that are milled down to the right size, or are they a blend? The husband was telling the story and was all snickery and I thought the answer was OF COURSE they are a blend of wood created to be poles. Umm, apparently not. He claims, and k-ster backs him up, that if you look carefully at telephone poles. they are indeed one tree that was shaped to be the right height and width. I find this very hard to believe but I am too lazy to go google it right now. I have looked at them a lot lately and I really can't tell. I thought I remembered seeing some that kind of looked like puzzle pieces but now that I look, I don't see any like this. I can't believe there are enough trees in the world that are tall enough to make them.

Second. Remember when you weren't supposed to see people's underwear? When it was not nice if you saw someone's bra straps? When did society decide it was OK to see them? Was it when society said women can run in sports bras with no tops? I think that might have been the day. Look around in summer and all you see are bra straps. Some are "fashionable" and are actually meant to be seen and even if they aren't meant to be seen, some women just think it's OK to let them hang out. I remember going to great lengths last century to hide my straps. Safety pins inside the straps of tank tops were one option. Back then, tank top straps were much wider, so that rule at school about how they must be at least 2 fingers wide would have been obscene in those days. They were all qutie wide, as I recall.

I believe it was when I started teaching classes at the gym that I began to allow my sports bra straps to be seen. This doesn't bother me in the least, probably because it isn't like a real bra, in my mind. It's meant to look athletic and often looks like a bathing suit, so it's OK with me. I just don't like to see those white, normal bras, the kind with the circle things just hanging out.

I suppose I am a hypocrite as I am sitting here, wearing a sports bra under a tank top and letting the straps hang out though I am not exercising. I am hot and I seem to believe it's OK because it's a sports bra.

Let's look at the other side. Can you imagine if society decided that men could exercise in public just wearing an athletic supporter? Picture the scene. A man is running down the road wearing a t-shirt, a jock strap and sneakers and socks. I am laughing/retching so hard it's difficult to type. Now picture this. A man decides he'll stop at the grocery after his grueling gym workout. He throws on a new t-shirt, still wearing just the jock strap and sneakers. What would you do if you came down the aisle and saw this man picking up broccoli? I know, a man stopping at the grocery is such a far fetched idea, I should have stopped there.

Is there a double standard? In summer, I see women at the grocery all the time in sports bras and shorts. Usually they are very tan and have great abs. Would it be better if the man was very tanned and in great shape when he did errands and exercised in his jock strap?

Think about it and while you do, thank the Good Lord society hasn't deemed that outfit proper. Yet.