Saturday, August 27, 2011

Good Night Irene, You Bitch

So, what really butters my biscuit at the end of the summer?  Meteorologists getting all excited about hurricanes and getting the entire east coast in a LATHER over a storm.  Here's what happens around here when they start crying about the upcoming hurricane.

Sure, the greenhouse really looks like a greenhouse because I was afraid too much hard rain would ruin my plants.

And the campground emptied because people feared being flooded out, their units toppling over or that they wouldn't be able to get over the bridge if we really get the storm they were saying we would.

Nothing makes people just evaporate faster than saying a hurricane might be coming.

Especially when you keep telling them that it might hit here at the exact time that an astronomically high tide will also hit which will cause major flooding.

And that you might close the bridges if the wind reaches 70 mph.

And that they better have a plan in place for days without power or water.

And that they better look into what their hotels will be doing about refunding their money if they have to leave early.

For several summers now, we have ended August with the threat of a hurricane and each time, it's not really much of a storm.  So it makes the natives ignore the warnings.  And get complacent.  And that's not good either.

But, because I don't want to be the last fool that didn't put everything away and now has to run around in the pouring rain and wind and try to secure everything, I decided to do it today.  They have downgraded this storm so much in for our area, it's amazing that I'm even doing anything.  But God help me if something of mine goes sailing through the air and breaks a window.

So, k-ster and I hauled every single potted plant into the greenhouse.  And I went around securing stray things in my gardens.  To a point.  There is only so much you can secure without putting a giant tarp over the entire thing and I certainly can't do that.  K-ster brought all sorts of things inside and threw away things that have been lurking all summer.

The patio is completely clear.

Everyone's decks are empty.  It looks like October in the campground because everyone put just about everything away.

And the sad part for me is that for many who do not live here year round, this was the closing up for the season.  They won't be back.

I don't love tourists because they put a crimp in my style.  But I would be foolish to believe we could survive here without them.  And seeing all of those buttheads from other states who can't negotiate our rotaries lets me know that summer is here.

And you might have read a post or two about how much summer means to me.  And how much I love summer.

So, Irene, when you started stirring up shit in the Caribbean, I wanted to ignore you. 

It was OK until you hit the Bahamas.  And then those damned weathermen started getting all excited about how many tracks they could create with their stormtracker data.  And then we couldn't avoid seeing and hearing nothing but news about this potential storm and the devastation you will likely cause.  We get half hour updates now.

You know I have relatives all the way down the east coast, so now I've been thinking about what your visits will be like to each of them.

And over the past 4 days, you've had all sorts of tantrums and fits and now your eye has all broken up and you've lost some power.

But, you're so greedy, you took up tons of air space and even got the ocean involved, so you wreaked havoc all the way up the east coast before you even made landfall.  You made beaches here close yesterday because of rip currents.  That really sent the tourists packing.

You made people run home to states that don't get hurricanes, thereby damaging our final days of financial gain this summer.

You've created such fear and that makes me so mad.

Worst of all?  You made people put everything away so it doesn't look like summer anymore.  But you've turned up the heat and humidity so that just moving across the lawn causes us to drip with sweat.

I've never met an Irene I like and you're putting another nail in the coffin as we speak.

Duke says predicting the path of a hurricane from the Caribbean up the east coast is like trying to shoot a rifle 5 miles.  I wish I had a rifle and a dark alley to meet you in, Irene.


  1. When I lived in FL, we were always excited about the possibility of getting a hurricane because there was cheese wiz in the emergency food kit. Apparently, cheese in a can was only allowed in emergencies.

  2. My parents got all geared up and so far they've only lost power. I hope it's the same for you!

  3. I grew up in SW FL, we never got storms. Lots of warnings and long lines at Wal-Mart but no storms. It was annoying. A few years ago Charley hit my hometown and it sucked. I wan't there, but it sucked for my family. Guess what? Everyone still gets annoyed about the predictions!! All bark, no bite.

  4. How do you really feel?! {wink!} I'm glad you're okay though!

  5. Well that bitch Irene ruined my vacay in Daytona Beach. Although there was no rain, the storm clouds loomed for 3 days and the waves were monstrous to the point that there was patrol on the beach telling people to stay out of the water. I do hope you're still safe. I see that you posted this on Saturday, and now it's late Tuesday night, so where the hell are you my friend? I hope the neighbour's patio umbrella didn't go sailing through your kitchen windown! xoxoxo


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