Wednesday, July 9, 2014

I'm My Mother's DAUGHTER

 I'm not sure if I need glasses, if I'm oblivious or if everyone else is using Botox, but I've lost the power to read people's faces and determine their age.

I don't mean like 25 vs. 26 or 50 vs. 55  I mean I can't tell if someone is 30 or 50.  40 or 60.  Sometimes, I'll look at someone I'm sure is 24 and think maybe they are really in the 40s?

The people I see on a regular basis become so familiar to me that I'm often beyond shocked when they have a birthday and I find out they're much older than I thought.

I always seem to err on the side of thinking they are much younger than they are.

Maybe it's wishful thinking as I head toward another decade marker?  Maybe I'm hoping that people will surely think I'm only 24 when I'm not.

But I don't think it's working yet.  There have been a few strange comments lately by people who seem to think we are of a similar age and yet I know they are in their late 50s or 60s because of their children's ages, or things they reference that I did not live through (Sputnik, the Kennedy assassination, Woodstock, Reganomics).

Ok, I was alive for president Regan.  I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.

People will make a reference to something and go "you know, like we would do/watch/say when we were kids" and I'm like "no, I only know that reference because I watched it on Nick at Nite or my parents talk about it."

I'm not that old.

A few years ago, this guy made a stupid guess at my age but I thought it was a fluke.

Then there was a TERRIBLE discussion at lunch with my lunch buddies (the people who got moved from my former school to my new school with me- we ate lunch together every day because we were just about the only people who had lunch at that time).  Someone said something like "and it's hard to believe you're 40" and I lost it.  I'M NOT 40!

And then it came up a few more times, possibly as a joke but possibly not.

A few weeks ago, someone who used to camp here came to check out the place and started talking to me about how nothing has changed and it's so much fun to come back and reminisce.  Because he remembered coming as a kid and how we had a horse.  You know, like about a decade ago.

A decade ago?  No, sir, that was my mother's horse and that was more than 4 decades ago!  I never knew that horse.  It was way before my time.

And then about a week later, it all came to a crashing end.  This youthful glow that I thought I had? 

Completely extinguished.

Because I had this conversation with another guy who has been camping here since he was a kid.  Like in the late 60s.  Again, way before my time.

"So what are you, like a sister in law or something?"

"You mean K-ster's sister in law?"

"Yeah, are you her sister in law or sister?"

"K-ster's??????"  I was speechless.  "I'm her DAUGHTER!"

"You're her DAUGTHER?"

"Yes, her DAUGHTER, not her SISTER."

No apology.  No "wow but she looks so young she can't have a daughter your age".  Nothing.  Just a look of shock.

So I charged him double the week's rent and spit on him.


  1. You had it right with your comment on my blog yesterday. I am somewhere between 29 and 40, but closer to the latter.

  2. Maybe I look too young to have a daughter your age! Haha!

  3. I remember you mom's horse. Its name was Brandy. (circa 1966)
    Susan Rudnik Webber


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