Oh My Burning Legs

What a week. On Monday, I said mean things about Huggies. On Tuesday, I went nuts about Sunchips. I let that go onto Wednesday too. Why not finish the week ranting about yet another company. I give you: Aveeno.

I was never a fan of shaving cream or gel because I thought good old soap and water did just fine and I am too Thrifty to spend the money on it. And it did fine for many, many years. About the time that I started using the outdoor shower-which is now illegal- I realized that my legs were suffering from severe razor burn. This is probably because it's sometimes cool out there and though the hot water feels good, it causes goose bumps and then I must shave right over them. So, I found Aveeno Ultra Calming Shave Gel with feverfew. the feverfew makes the different as I tried another style and it didn't work. I loved it and have used it for quite a few years. I stock up on it when it goes on sale. It keeps my legs calm and no razor burn happens when I use it.

In the spring, I noticed that CVS no longer carried it and they had a strange sign on the shelf that said something about issues with dispensing. I thought that was odd. Stop and Shop still carried it, so I used some coupons and bought a few. And then I noticed they weren't restocking it at CVS. And recently I totally ran out and they dont' have it at Stop and Shop either. And there isnt' even a tag for it on the shelf anymore.

So, I did what I do when I can't find something. I went to the interwebz and I searched until my fingers bled. And yes, I found many places that had it, until I actually went to the link and whooops, they no longer had it. I went to the Aveeno site and clicked on every store they said would have it. And they did not. I even went to just any random place online. BUT NO ONE HAD IT. Really??? No one in the entire universe? Not even some god forsaken place?

Now, this makes me nervous. WHen I've used a product for a long time and then it suddenly clears off of every shelf in the known world, I get worried that they discovered some horrid side effect or latent chemical. Like in the 80s when Citrus Hill orange juice just up and vanished. For years, I was sure I had been drinking poison but as I just googled this, I found that they got into huge trouble for calling it fresh when it was concentrate and couldn't survive. Ahhh the joy of knowing that it wasn't poison.

Anyshave, back to Aveeno. I emailed the company and asked what the story is. This was their very convert response: With regards to your recent inquiry, at Johnson & Johnson Inc., the quality and safety of all of our products is of utmost importance. We are aware of this dispensing quality issue and the cause is currently under investigation. We know that these products enjoy a high level of consumer loyalty and satisfaction and you can be assured that we are taking all appropriate corrective action to resolve this problem. We do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you. The product will be available on the market by the end of 2010.

What is dispensing quality? When CVS had that little tag about it, I thought they meant that there was an issue getting it from the manufacturer. This makes it sound more like you would push the button to get gel but get nothing. This never happened to me. Why punish me like this if all my cans of shave gel worked just fine???? What is the big INVESTIGATION? Get over here and INVESTIGATE the bumps on my legs!! No other gel works, I've tried. Maybe they will change their minds when I braid my leg and armpit hairs into the words AVEENO.

That Darned Sunchips Bag

I'm going out on a limb here and attacking a company's claim. Will I get into hot water? Maybe I hope so. I do not work for the Sunchips company or any company that is in any way involved with Sunchips. I have not been paid by any company to make disparaging remarks about this brand. This stems from my own curiosity and the fear that we are being "taken" by this company's claim.

I was recently reading through someone's blog and it led me to Kathy's blog at The Junk Drawer and she mentioned she might be a little upset that the new Sunchips bag is so, shall we say, NOISY??? She does a fantastic post about the noise, including a video of how effing loud it is in case you haven't experienced them this summer. She was lucky enough to have it picked up by someone big interviewed her at the Wall Street Journal. It seems many people share the distress that you can no longer sneak a snack of Sunchips. (doesn't that sound like some kind of rhyme you learned as a kid: sneak a snack of Sunchips... it has a nice flow so if the Sunchip gods are reading, I am happy to sign over all rights for a hefty fee.)

Anychip, my issue with the new Sunchips bag isn't the noise as much as their claim. (I know, anyone who knows me knows that there is not a noise that can possibly NOT bother me, so that is a big fat lie but really, the claim takes precedence here). On Earth Day back in April, they rolled out their new bag, which they claim is compostable. If you read their claim on their site, they say that in 14 weeks, it will break down. Magic. In 14 weeks, that bag will be long gone. If you read the fine print, it does say in a hot, active compost pile or bin. It says this on the bag too. Magic, I tell you, pure magic.

I might be a bit of a skeptic, or maybe I really WANT this new packaging to really degrade but I just had to try this myself. I have been composting for several decades and though I am no expert, I do quite well. I break some rules, like I never turn it over, but I do give it a variety of materials and when I dig in, JACKPOT, I have some darned good stuff in there.

I thought perhaps the average person doesn't have a compost pile, so they might not be able to compost. Or maybe they threw the bag on the side of the road and now it's just blowing around. So, to mimic the lack of a compost pile, I began my great experiment. I just wanted to know if the bag would crumble down like they said. Since it wasn't going to be in compost heap, I knew it would take a little while. I just needed to know for myself if their claims were real. So here's what I have:May 2nd, 2010. I placed the bag on the ground and anchored it down with a weight so I could find it. I didn't put any soil on it and figured nature would take its course. I waited. And waited. And then I read Kathy's post, so I went and looked at it again. And this is what I found:This was today, day 114. There are 98 days in 14 weeks. That means I have gone 24 days, that's 3.5 weeks, beyond their claim. I see it's faded a little. There are a few tears. But when I picked it up, it was pretty much intact. We've had sopping rain for 2 days yet under this bag the ground was completely dry, so it's not yet permeable. Hmmm. I expected a slow breakdown since it's not in the compost pile. But this gives me great pause.

I am nothing if not thorough, so you know this bag will sit until the end of time if it has to for me to prove my point. But what does this mean? Are the Sunchips people going to blow me off and say that I didn't do it right? Probably. Their claim says nothing about putting it on the ground and just waiting. But I just have to know if it will really break down. I think I've had plastic break down faster than this (ever had one of those resin patio chairs and the back just breaks off??)

So here is your charge. Go buy some Sunchips and try this yourself. Wear some earplugs, open them up and eat them all. Then go compost. If you have devised a way to put it in your compost and actually track it, let me know. Is it gone in 14 weeks? I'll be awaiting your response and so will Kathy!!

The irony in all of this is that I don't really even like Sunchips. I just NEED TO KNOW.

Poo On You

I was innocently reading through the Sunday paper yesterday and perusing the coupon inserts when I came upon this:
I'm not sure where to start. See the little dancing bears? I think they are supposed to be Winnie the Pooh and I think they THINK they are getting away with their campaign by being cute. But this is not cute. Those bears dont' even look like Winnie. I have never had a problem using wipes on a baby. What is meant by the "right" side of the wipe? Are you supposed to smear it all over the bears? Or not let it touch the bears? Are people so dumb that they use it and then turn it over to use the other side but get it all over their hands? Seems like you'd do that one time and learn a lesson, right?

And I think the most appalling part is that thumbprint on the bottom right that says LIVE POO FREE. Really???? Is this a truly big problem in this country that I am not aware of? A brown thumbprint is supposed to be alluring, memorable or just cute?

The ad reminds me of an ad to stay away from drugs. Or a suicide helpline. Just a one line, very bland font, in big letters like this is the answer to all of our problems.

This makes me think of an Apprentice (which will return with REAL people this fall, not celebrities and I am just about wetting my pants over this) episode where they tried to come up with a catchy or "cute" but inappropriate ad campaign. At least get the rights to use the real Winnie the Pooh and change it to Keep Pooh On the Right Side and I will be OK with it. Huggies has really gone around the bend and they are cheaping out.

Anyone with me? Anyone able to offer some insight into the mystery of the wipe that has caused this campaign?

Shootout At the OK Corral

Ok, that's kind of dramatic. There wasn't a shoot out. No one but the cop had a gun. And I don't ride at the OK corral. I don't know the name of the barn, actually, but I call it barn #3 because it's the 3rd barn I've ridden at with my instructor and it helps me associate certain things I did at certain barns successfully.

This is supposed to be Feel Good Friday and on Feel Good Friday, we are supposed to write about things that made us feel good during the week. I like to write about my top 5. But this story is too entertaining for me to wait and post it tomorrow. So, the feel good in this is that I am in no way involved in what I'm about to relate and I'm really, really, really glad that I don't have to worry about where I'm sleeping tonight.

Barn #3 is out in the woods. It's a conservation area and though there are houses sprinkled throughout and there are actual roads, they are not paved and it's pretty darned quiet. And really, it's remote. It's not far from civilization, but when you're there, you feel as though it's you and no one else. Until today, this didn't freak me out much. I've had the odd thought that if I were to fall off this horse and break my back, it would take the ambulance a while to get there and it wouldn't be a great ride because it's quite bumpy, not being paved. But I try to keep that thought at bay.

So as I came to the last road before turning into the barn today, I saw 2 cruisers, one marked and one not, as well as a few cars kind of in the road.. My first assumption was that there had been an accident and I thought "how ridiculous that someone had to call the cops for a 10 mph accident in the woods". But then I realized that nothing looked smashed. And the cop was drinking a can of soda, so I wasn't alarmed.

Until I looked up as I parked down the driveway and he was in the rearview mirror. He didn't seem to be acting urgently but I supposed I should ask him what was going on since he could have chosen to take down my plate number and try to find something wrong with me. I noticed that my instructor's truck was there and so was another girl's car. So, I walked to the police car and this is what transpired:

Me: Hi
Him: Have you talked to the other girls yet?
Me: No (OMG THEY AREN"T HERE---WTF????)
Him: Well, we chased a kid who stole a car into here and then he bailed right there at the driveway and he's on the loose in the woods. He's recently robbed 4 houses and then stole this car.
Me: Wow. Did it look like he knew the woods well or did he just run?
Him: Oh, we think he's been living in the woods. His mother owns a house just at the entrance (to the conservation area). His name is xyz.
Me: XYZ??? Are you kidding???? I don't know him personally but i have heard that name for 20 years! He went to elementary school with all of my friends but never made it to the high school and he became one of those kids who seemed to just vanish after 8th grade!
Him: Yeah, he just got out of jail, mother hasn't seen him in 2 years. So, if you're out riding,
Me: Oh, I don't think I'm leaving the corral today!!
Him: No, we don't think he's armed (HOW WOULD YOU KNOW???) but we want to make sure you take your cell phone with you and here's the non 911 number. (then he watched me type it into my phone).
Me: Wow, this is crazy. Have you told the other girls?(Where the hell are they????)
Him: Oh, r-ster and j-ster? Yeah, they're out riding. I told them if they saw him to let me know.

So this cop seemed to really know the situation and was concerned that I might not really call them if I thought I needed help. This is a little different from the cops in my town that I don't feel are quite so helpful. Not that they are mean, they just seem to have a lot more to deal with than escapees in the woods. We have actual murders in my town.

Soo then r-ster and j-ster returned and the story took one more turn.

R-ster: So did you talk to the cop?
Me: Yeah, I can't believe it. (then I tell how I know the kid's name, etc)
R-ster: Oh, he didn't tell us his name, what is it?
Me: XYZ.
R-ster: XYZ????? OMG that is ABC's son!! I know his mother, oh he just got out of jail, oh she's going to be so upset. Yeah, that's DEF's grandson.
Me: He's DEF's grandson??? Holy crap, I didn't know THAT! Then my mother knows ABC because they all had horses growing up.
R-ster: that's funny, we joked that if he found him, we'd make him ride a horse back, but if we'd found him, he really COULD have ridden a horse!!

Then there was one more extra twist. I called k-ster and when I said it was XYZ he interrupted me and said "that's DEF's grandson" and I was like HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT and he said a friend of his had been friend with XYZ . This makes sense because k-ster's friend went to school with all of my friends when they were in elementary school.

They say that where I live is a small place. It's many towns in one region. This whole thing happened in one town, we live in another, they all went to school together in another and k-ster is from yet another and yet we all know or know of everyone involved. Do we live in Hazzard County? It sure seems like it at times like this. I supposed if the cop had bumbled his way through and a white limo pulled in with Boss Hog, it would have all been just right.

What's In YOUR Wallet?

I mean, what's in your car? I call my Jeep The General (you know, general purpose vehicle is where Jeep gets its name), so don't think I've lost my mind when I refer to it. It's not like it's my pet name for k-ster or anything.

So, I looked around today and thought about how ridiculous it is inside The General. And I'm curious to know if I'm alone in this madness or if everyone keeps everything and the kitchen sink in their vehicles. It clearly is a very slow news day in my realm.

Taking a look around, front to back, this is what I found:

Front: a couple of water bottles and a backpack. Not unusual.

Back seat: a saddle, two fold up chairs that you put in a bag, bags for the grocery store, cans of cat food that fell out of a bag, random articles of clothing, lia sophia jewelry catalogs, my fake purse(for when I go into a store where just carrying your keys in your hand seems uncouth, so I bring out the fake purse and stick my keys in the them and I look more sophisticated).

Back storage area: a folded 6 foot table, a milk crate with an afghan and jumper cables, my riding helmet and boots, a bag with clothes for riding in the winter, my gym bag, my pilates mat, a folded mat to keep dirt off the seat when I have something messy to transport, a sign that says Vote For Education because I took it out of the ground at the car wash and haven't brought it in yet.

What? This isn't normal???? Just think of what I am prepared to do at a moment's notice:

I could ride a horse (I really have all but the horse in there but the saddle has now been moved to the barn where I ride- for the moment).

I could set up a table and 2 chairs and we could eat cat food (OMG this reminds me of the district meeting we had two years ago between the towns over the school budget and this dramatic old lady got up and cried about how if she had to pay $30 more per year for taxes, she'd have to eat CAT FOOD).

I could clothe you from head to foot with everything but underwear.

I could give your battery a jump.

I could sit in a chair and have an afghan on me while I'm sitting by the sign to support education.

The list goes on.

Would He Do It For You

So, on Feel Good Friday, I read Erika's post on her blog which tells us that while she injured her back over her blog(I am totally empathizing here because I once did my neck in over making a quilt) her husband VOLUNTEERED to type her blogpost while she dictated.

This gave me considerable pause. My first thought was "What does HE want in return"? There's always an ulterior motive, right? My second thought was "Would k-ster do it for me?" That gave me a considerable amount of giggles since I know he thinks my blogging is a ridiculous piece of doo doo that isn't worthy of this world. He's mad that I won't FACE but I'll blog. He says facebook is the same. I say it's significantly different.

So then I had to imagine what it would be like if I were to, I don't know, break all my fingers and be unable to type. In this little self movie, there were no other things I had to do such as umm, just go to the bathroom, with these broken fingers, I just had to worry about my blog post. Like it was my job. And then the realization hit me: I am such a nerd and control freak that this would be THE END of k-ster and me. First of all, I speak too fast under normal circumstances, let along while he is trying to type. He is a good typist but still. Then I'd have to worry about grammar and punctuation and MOST OF ALL---SPELLING. We certainly don't have time to correct spelling while I am dictating my words of genius! Inevitably, I'd have a change of thought and have to ask him to go back a paragraph or two. OMG this would truly be the fight of all fights. Somehow, in this movie, I am also blind so I can't just reread it myself, I have to have him read it back to me. At some point, the laptop is thrown at me and it's just over.

Now, if the situation were reversed, I have to admit, it would go like this. On day one, I would type what he said. I would even worry about grammar and spelling, even though he doesn't worry. On day 2, I might do the same. By day 3 or 4, I would be typing summaries of what he said. By day 5, I would be typing what I was pretty sure he MEANT to say. And by the end of the week, I'd just be in the other room, taking over his blog completely. But this is all because I know how I am.

K-ster is very mild mannered. For all of me that isn't easy going, he more than carries the go-with-the-flow attitude enough for both of us. However, when it comes to me being successful with something computer oriented, he gets a little annoyed. He has taught me many things about computing and then when I like it and do it a lot, he gives me a hard time about using the computer. This another reason I do not FACE because I know I would be on it 24/7. So today, I asked k-ster this: If I broke all of my fingers, would you blog for me? I hardly had the question finished when he burst out laughing. This is rare. BURST out laughing and I think HELL NO or words to that effect were uttered.

So my question for you ladies, is, Would Your Man Blog For You If You Became Incapacitated? I'm dying to know.

Feel Good Friday

Here we are again! It's Friday and here are the top 5 things that amused me this week:

1. I have to go backwards because this first one is just amusing to me. You can't forget the couple with the sad trailer from Camper's Delight earlier this week. Sadly, I had no pictures. UNTIL LAST NIGHT!!! There I was, minding my own business while running in a road race, two towns away, when what did I spy with me little eye?I know, I almost had to come to a complete stop during the race, I was so shocked. One would not forget a sad case such as this, and even though I was several hundred yards away, I knew what I saw. And this made sense. The part I didn't tell you in my earlier post is that the mean employer in this case is a family member of a very notably, politically famous family here in the region. As I ran past a parking lot that has recently been named after another family member in this prominent family, I happened to glance over and see that indeed that's the trailer, so indeed, the employer really is a member of this particular famous family. I hadn't believed it until then. So after I ran, I had to go back and take some pictures.This is a back corner of the trailer and looks distinctly like it was crushed. And the glass is broken, which is odd, because these are crank out windows, not the other kind I mentioned that they had propped open with 2 x 4s.Here's the missing water heater box.
And here are the missing lights, wonder how they got it down the road. All of this gave me a chuckle because it's now like this trailer and its saga is following me!

2. I was in the garden yesterday morning and thought these spectacular flowers needed to be in the spotlight. Sadly,the camera really never does anything the justice it deserves. Pretend you are super awed:I've let the morning glories self seed and they are a little out of control this year, taking over things. But they are pretty.The combination of colors is pretty amazing but isn't really showing up here. It makes me laugh that these zinnias are so great because they were a free packet of seeds that I got from the bank and they all actually grew and are pretty! And they are about 4 feet tall!The rose of sharon is a bush someone gave me from her garden two years ago and I thought it had croaked at first. Now it's more than made up for its lack of action in the spring. Mixed in with it are milkweed that I've let do their own thing, morning glories and a magenta hollyhock. I hoped that the morning glories would hold up the rose of sharon because last year they flopped over. Everything seems to be holding everything up this year. The milkweed are almost taller than me.

3. We went to see comedien Gabriel Iglesias and he was pretty funny. Actually, very funny. The comediens that opened for him weren't so funny. They were OK, but not as great as he is. He can tell a great story.

4. I finally got me letter telling me that I am a team leader for the upcoming school year. Even though I THOUGHT I was going to be, I wasn't getting a response from the principal and wasn't sure if I really needed to reserve next week for the meetings that go with it. The letter finally arrived, so I am all set. And that's a nice bonus in my pocket, as well.

5. I ate the first tomato out of my garden this week. This might be a record, as I don't think my tomatoes are ever ripe when everyone else's are. I have lot of tomatoes and many are starting to ripen. And the corn is coming along nicely. And the beans are putting out a steady amount. The cucumbers are playing games with me. They're dying, they're not, they're dying, they're not. They produce, they don't, they produce, they don't. And the broccoli is making a lovely comeback. I hope to see a lot of broccoli this fall. The chard is also coming along, continually producing like I want it to. Oh and the peppers are finally getting their act together. I think they need more water so I might have to rearrange some of the drip irrigation. But now that the ground cherry plant has been banished, that might be easy to do.