Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I Don't Love My Dyson

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I finally caved and bought a Dyson. I had my other El Cheapo vacuum for 14 years. It worked well. Very well, actually. And then one day, it started wheezing. And then another day it started shrieking. And then one day, I thought I had gone deaf because it was so shrill, so I decided to let it R.I.P.

Being thrifty, I saved and saved my Discover card rewards so I could use the points toward Sears gift cards. Discover has it going on. You use 20 dollar points for a $25 gift card. How can you do wrong??? So, after much buying and saving with my Discover card, I had a good number of Sears gift cards to buy the ridiculously priced Dyson.

It said it was so powerful. It said it was the "animal" version which would take up animal hair from 3 floors below. It said it was so modern and so strategically designed. And it had that ball which seemed really cool. And best of all, no more bags.

So, I brought it home and used it. Meh. It wasn't so powerful. I didn't such up dirt from my great grandmother's time, as I thought I might. I don't think it has much more power than the old one did right before it died. And it makes me do ergonomically inappropriate things. Because of that damned ball, it's like jelly in my hand and I find myself contorting into painful positions with my wrists, simply because I can. Not sure that's very smart, Mr Dyson.

And then I hurt myself for the first time. I went to pull up the extender hose so I could suck up something and when I pushed it back down into its magic hole, I pinched my fingers. It really hurt and I was really mad. It seems like something anyone could easily do. Not so smart, Mr. Dyson. So I've learned to be very careful about using the hose.

Then I hurt myself for the 2nd time. It turns out, that when you want to use the hose, though it pulls out quite far, you must have someone either hold down the vacuum itself while you go hose away, or you must maneuver yourself into yet another contortion to anchor it with one leg, or behind your legs, and you reach forward with the hose. My toes learned this lesson very painfully.

And yesterday, I hurt myself for the 3rd time. Thus the picture above. Right, that tiny little bit of a blood blister. From pushing in the crevice tool and getting the skin pinched as I was trying to shove it in. Again, Mr. Dyson, not so smart. Am I really supposed to worry this much about hurting myself with a vacuum???? A $500 vacuum which I paid nowhere near that amount for????

I can't say I am at all happy with the damned thing. The only thing I love about it right now is that I can empty the container each time. But even that isn't so wonderful. For example, if my trash is anywhere near mid to halfway full, I can't open the hatch on the container unless I hold the container higher over my trash which then gets dust everywhere. And then, with the amount of cat hair (from one stinkin'cat!) and human hair(from 2 stinkin' humans!) that gets sucked up, it often just hangs out and I have to pull it to get the big furball out.

Mr. Dyson, I am not pleased right now. When I will love this machine?


  1. I have never owned a Dyson, and probably never will because of this post and also because of the annoying British man whose voice is in all the commercials. LOL! sorry about all your injuries!

  2. Never! Our first loved vacuum cleaner can never be replaced in our hearts!

  3. Oh Jo, that's too bad. I love mine. Love it. Makes our old Windtunnel (that after 5 yrs died a sudden death) look like a dustbuster. It's one of the handful of purchases (made at Bed Bath and Beyond with gift cards and a 20% off coupon)that I've made in my lifetime that I felt was totally worth getting.(The Tempurpedic mattress, gortex raincoat, swiffer duster and tattoo are among the others) But I have the big older model, not the ball version, so that might be the difference. It sucks like gangbusters but is a little tall for a short person with proportions like a T-Rex to get up and down the stairs with ease. Also the tube that you stick the attachments on is a little long for me to maneuver in tight corners. So it's not totally perfect but it's pretty darn good.


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