Sunday, June 26, 2011

Scary Words

Ahhhh some of my favorite words in the English langauge.

Thanks to LL Bean, we can enjoy not one, but 2 items each day that are super on sale.  I love to look and see what they have.  On occasion, I've been lucky to find a real steal but sometimes the items are duds or they aren't what I need.

Today's 2nd markdown item:

Women's Saturday Corduroy Pants, Boot-Cut Straight 

Everything was great until that last word- straight.  This makes me start to quiver because it can only mean these vicious words will come next:

fitted through hips and thigh

Apart from phrases like "we've reached our altitude of 10,000 feet, now jump and enjoy the fall!" or "don't look now, but there's a 10 inch camel spider on the wall behind you, just act normal" , these are the most dreaded words on the planet.

I know it's hard to believe that those 5 words can bring dreadful nightmares to someone who can rock these skinny jeans or who can pull off leggings like this.

But these are the words I hate most in life.

Even at my very skinniest, I have never been straight through the hip and no pair of fitted anything has ever looked right on me. Unlike all of those boyish models who have no hips, I fall in to the class of J-lo when it comes to curves.

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard but sadly, they are all scary freaks.

And if I try to squeeze that milkshake into anything fitted in the thigh or hip, then it's just a mess.

Why, LL BEAN??? Why must you torment me so? Do you know how many times I have fallen for your daily markdown only to be tormented by your taunts of FITTED pants????

1 comment:

  1. Is anyone straight at the hip? I mean, really, after puberty we all have something there, right???


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