Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Mary Had A Little Lamb


A-ster and her husband s-ster bought a house in the far suburbs a year ago and love the fact that they live in farm country.  They frequent the nearby organic farm and buy vegetables and meat from them often.  A-ster went to the farm in July to reserve her Thanksgiving turkey, which she served to sister sparkling and her boytoy k-ster.  None of them are vegetarians and all enjoyed it tremendously, sources say.

Rumor has it that a-ster recently purchased some lamb from the nearby farm.  She cooked it, served it and ate it with abandon.  It has been said that s-ster also thoroughly enjoyed this dish and recommended that they have it again some time soon.  It has long been known that sister sparkling indeed loves lamb though it is also a known fact that Primrose Jim will not eat lamb.  Whether the rest of the family dines regularly on lamb has not been disclosed.

Not long after l-ster was born, a mystery package arrived with a very large stuffed animal in it.  There wasn't a card or anything in it and there appeared to be hoof prints on the outside of the package.  Thinking it was from a scatterbrained family member who forgot to give it to her at the shower, a-ster thought it was cute and put it in the crib.  She never gave the hoofprints a second thought.  The toy was one of the only decorations in the nursery before l-ster was born.

At one month old,  a-ster propped her in the corner of her crib to pose with the lamb. "She seemed pretty excited about it," a-ster said.  "Who doesn't love a lamb?  They are so cute. And fluffy.  And white. And tasty"

And in this case.  HUGE.

According to this picutre, l-ster appears to be liking the lamb.  The lamb looks quite innocent and pure.  No one was prepared for what happened next.


After changing out of her outfit from Auntiejo, l-ster was back in her crib for more pictures with the lamb.  It is believed the photographer was going for a "fleece as white as snow" look, not surprising given the number of years the w-girls spent in a Christian school.

A source close to the family says he heard someone bleatingly say "STICK EM UP, BABY" at which point, it is believed, l-ster flung her hands over her head, her fists always at the ready.

It is too early to tell if the lamb did any permanent damage, though judging by the smirk on l-ster's face, authorities believe the lamb may have found a ticklish spot.

When asked if a-ster knew who might have sent this dangerous toy, a-ster said, "No, I mean, we did get a nice gift from the farm when we brought her home, but we never thought we'd get anything like this."  The P-family's mailman has confirmed that over the past 4 weeks, there have been numerous letters delivered to the P-family, all bearing the same kind of hoofprint and smelling faintly of hay.  Father s-ster says, "We didn't take those threats seriously, we thought someone was playing a joke.  I guess we know who what we'll be marinating and grilling up this weekend!"

The family is pretty shaken over the whole ordeal, but has determined to see this through to the end.  Their therapist suggested that every  month, l-ster pose with this lamb and until she is big enough to hold her own, no one will be placing the lamb within biting distance.  And next month, the theme may change slightly if that mama sheep can't get some control.

Finding the Funny


  1. I was just glad the lamb stopped smoking:

  2. oh too funny!

    Adorable little baby


    that is all

  3. Love the story and the pictures. Adorable.

  4. Wee 'Burb is OBSESSED with sheep right now after we took her to the sheep shearing festival. Whenever she gets really excited about something, she "baaaa"s. HILARIOUS!

  5. where is that lamb from he is just adorable!!

  6. Hahaha!!! Loved imagining the lamb saying s-s-s-s-stick 'em u--u-u-u-up. Mean lamb.


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