Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Glinda the Good Witch Has Left the Building

And she ain't coming back.

It's that time of the school year.

When I've just about had it with the monotonous shenanigans.

When I've had it up to HERE with people doing the same shit they do class, after class, like I've never noticed it before.

Monday was one of my finer teaching moments, when I refused to continue until each person had given me just ONE sentence in French. A girl who DOES NOTHING refused, because she "doesn't speak French" so I refused to continue. They sat in silence the entire period while I got things done and she refused to budge. Thank God she was absent today. What a difference!

I'm sick of kids strolling in late, with nothing or with the wrong materials. I assigned a lunch detention today, which I haven't done in years. But, I'm not staying after school again this week and nothing is less effective than a detention next Monday for what he did today.

And I'm hot. It's not 90 yet, but it's hot. This building gets hot and sticky. I get active when I teach, so I get hot and sticky. And frustrated because I'm hot. So my temper is short. And they loll around because they are hot and that makes me more furious.

And I smell. Because I'm hot and I'm sweating. And I don't believe in anti-perspirants (why would you want to stop the body from doing something it is supposed to do, and what is with all of the aluminum in them?) so I use Tom's of Maine deodorant. They claim it has hops.

So I probably smell like beer. The whole building probably thinks I'm a drunk. A sweating, stinking drunk who sends all of the girls to the nurse because their shorts are to short. Not my rule, I'm just following the district policy and the girls are incredulous.

They say that when you sweat, your body is efficient because it's cooling itself. In that case, I am the model of efficiency. Auto makers should consult with me when looking to make things more efficient. I must be the fittest human being on record, because I can work up a sweat if I blink too fast.

My favorite part? You know that "channel" that you create around your spine when you have a strong back? The one that looks great from a distance and you think "wow, she's strong"? Yeah, that one?

Well, it's really just a funnel. It funnels all the sweat right down into the back of your underwear. I assure you there is nothing more exciting for me than standing in front of a class, while water pour down my back into my butt. Yep, nothing can be more fun in June.

This never used to happen, before I started working out. I hardly ever sweated. It was never an issue. Never any underarm circles for me. I had never experienced sweating from my HEAD until I became more fit.

And because I'm sweating, I drink a lot of water. And I always spill my water when I drink, but I think "hey it's water, it's not big deal". But then I'm damp with sweat and damp with water.

I'm starting to turn green. I think I have moss growing. I think Elphaba might be taking up residence in my body.

I sure hope a house doesn't fall on me any time this week.

1 comment:

  1. That all just sounds like a really uncomfortable teaching situation! Hang in there!!


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