Sunday, October 23, 2011

Death By Boobsweat

It was quick.

It was painless.

It was a salty affair.

We tried to resurrect its soul, to no avail.  We gave it life support, a new heart and brain, everything we knew and then some.

I have the sweatiest boobolas this side of the Mississippi and they wreaked their sweaty havoc on my poor, helpless ipod nano, 3rd generation.

I jumped on the ipod bandwagon in 2008 and bought the nano that was available at the time, the 3rd generation nano.  I had no idea how much I would come to LOVE this magical device.  It never ceased to amaze me how much I could fit in those 4 littls gigs and still have room for more.  The battery life was phenomenal.  It was so handy.  It behaved so well.

We shared a lot of good books, downloaded free from the library.  We listened to excellent music together.  We made lots of women sweat in spin, toning and aqua classes.

I bought a "skin" to match my laptop, phone and crazy creek chair.

And then, I took it out of the leather case that I used to wear it in when I was mowing the grass.  And I didn't have a pocket, so I stuck it in my bra.  Where I'd stuck it before when it was in the case.

And I set about mowing the back 40 and listening to a good book.

And then I got that screen.  The magical screen of death.  With the slightest evidence of a water spot inside the screen.

I tried everything.  I went online and searched every nook and cranny and did what every Tom, Dick and Steve Jobs said to do.  and then I even called their special hotline to speak to someone.

She led me through everything I had just done.  She told me that for $29, I could speak with someone who could lead me through everything that she had just led me through and it sounded like it would not be worth it.  I thanked her for her honesty and I bet she lost her job.

I immediately went online, assuming I could buy another one.  It has only been 3 years.  How many generations could possibly have been born since then?


There is basically no hope of getting another 3rd generation new.  At least, not from a reliable source.

The new nanos are touchscreens and my hands also sweat when I work out, so I don't think touch screens are the way to go.   They aren't getting the greatest reviews.   And iphones and itouches are just too big for what I want to do with them.

So, I got the cockamemy idea that I should replace the battery.  And by I, I mean k-ster.  Because I read everywhere that it's really easy to do.  There are youtube videos and everything.  And a new battery was only $10.  And k-ster is an electronics technician which means he is pretty much qualified to dismantle a bomb with his eyes closed, one hand tied behind his back, on the roof of a ship in a 50 knot gale.

AH HA!  I'm saved!

Here's k-ster working very hard with truly nano technology.

It was not so easy.  It required soldering.  I didn't expect that.  And it required fingertips the size of mouse claws.   Thank God k-ster has opened a million GPS devices.  This wasn't his first soldering rodeo.  I didn't really know what "nano" meant before I cracked that baby open.

And speaking of cracking it open.  It was nearly impossible.  With the battery came these 2 dinky , plastic tools that I managed to shave down to nothing by trying to slide them into the the almost invisible seam.  It took hours.  And I finally broke down and used a razor blade.  A no-no on two fronts.  Highly dangerous and it scratched it up.  I wasn't worried about the scratching, though.

I just wanted my tunes!!!

As he was dismantling it, k-ster said some words I didn't like.  He said "this has water damage, you know" as evidenced by all of the white salt left behind from my sweat.

"Yeah, I think it's just the battery, get back to work, slacker" but I knew.  I knew that was the end but I wasn't ready to face it.

After all of that, he couldn't get the back on completely, but we figured if it worked, I could just duct tape it.

I'm redneck enough to be able to be proud of a duct taped ipod.  I had visions of another 5 years of happiness.  So many more books, so little grass to mow.

And then the strangest thing occurred. I plugged it into my computer, and the ipod actually emitted a sound!  There is no speaker on the ipod.  NO WAY for a sound to come out.

It was like the little squeal a lobster gives when you boil it and it finally dies.  What, I am from New England.  We know these truths.  I am not kidding.  It truly was the ipod's squeal of death.

So it's over.  Kaput.  We're through.

I'm not sure I can get past this.

I must have an ipod for my classes at the gym because that is now the only way to play tunes in spin.  I am using my sister's original classic but it's playing games with me, so I can't use it for my own entertainment.  It works fine when it's in the dock at the gym, but when I want to actually listen to it for myself, it dies after 15 minutes.

Sounds like the battery right?  Hey, I hear you can replace those things pretty cheaply and it's so easy.


  1. This made me laugh, although I feel your pain about losing your ipod.

  2. I have to know - when you called support, did you tell them, "I put my iPod in my bra and my boobs sweat all over it. Can you help me?"

    Please tell me you did, because I would TOTALLY own up to that very very seriously stated too, laughing inside at the embarrassed (hopefully) man on the other end. Especially if he was Indian.

    Good times.


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