Saturday, November 30, 2013

Say What to What?

I've confessed that I get a certain amount of sick pleasure out of watching some of the TLC shows like Say Yes to the Dress or Toddlers and Tiaras.  I don't watch them all the time, but sometimes, when there's nothing else on and I need background noise, I get a kick out of them.

I used to love Say Yes to the Dress before the added the Atlanta version.  Then they made the Atlanta version watchable, so when I came upon a marathon of the Atlanta version the other day, I decided I would watch it while doing grades.

Side note.  We have this fabulous grading program that allows you to perform absolute magic with grades and it can even post online for those overbearing parents who like to know every.single.facet of their child's grade.  I was a huge champion of this program for years and when they threatened to save money and take away the online version, I fought to keep it.

Here in the lower grades, they use this program, but since we don't give ABCDF grades, it's completely useless.  Thankfully, I discovered this before I started to put in grade for 510 students.  However, now that I have to use it to actually send grades to the office, I'm spending my Thanksgiving break doing just that.  I don't have to put grades for everything in there, I just have to put the final grade and comments.

But it's not that easy.  First, I have to compute them in my gradebook.  I decided that doing it by hand will actually be faster than entering every grade now and then having to convert them to grades that actually go on the report card.

But faster doesn't mean lickety split fast.  It's still taking 450 years to do these.

Anyway, I was watching the marathon of Say Yes to the Dress when I came  upon an episode that had me in stitches.

Do you watch this show?  If not, you need to know that usually, a bride brings with  her a party of somewhere near 8 people to witness the saying of yes to the dress.  I don't even know 8 people whose opinions I would even listen to, let alone all of their opinions on the same dress.

What really makes me roll on the floor is when they bring their fathers.  And some of these fathers actually have opinions.  Like they know what they are talking about.  There was a really awful episode that I saw once where it was just the bride and her father and he ended up insisting she get a dress what was all sheer lace, so it looked like she had a bikini or lingerie under her dress.  That episode made me sick.

Most fathers are not so skeevy.  Most sit there looking like they would rather be somewhere else.  A lot will say things like how pretty they look or how there is way too much cleavage.

If you don't know my father, you  need to know that you'd have to knock him out and drag him through the door and no amount of questions would get him to add his opinion about a dress.  He wouldn't say things like "no alleys, no valleys and none of that tight mermaid stuff."

My favorite father episode was the father who is a pastor who insisted she would not have so much cleavage showing.  The daughter was very sassy and was like "if I like the dress, I WILL say yes to the dress!" and the father said "that's fine but I will say no to the dough!"

The idea of bringing my father to help me choose a wedding gown entertains me to no end.

Grandmothers are another great source of fodder, especially the old fashioned, southern kind.  They want long sleeves and turtlenecks made of lace.  Nothing pleases those ladies and they are adamant about telling what would be proper.  For 1943, not 2013.

On this episode, there was no father or super southern grandmother, just a very rude mother.  I missed part of it, so I'm not sure what happened with the mother of the bride dress, but when I came in, the bride had on a dress that made her very happy.  Right in the middle of telling everyone how much she loved it, her mother jumped off the couch and raved about how she had found her mother of bride dress.

Show stealer.

So, back to the bride.  She had a short dress that had a removable skirt of tulle so it looked like a ball gown.  Here are the comments that cracked me  up:

Bride: I love the peekaboo two for one!  (the tulle comes off so she gets two dresses in one)

Mother: It's kind of plain.  That bottom part looks like mosquito netting.

Sales rep:  That's tulle

Mother:  It's so plain.  I think it needs some embezzlement.  (no one corrected her- ugh!)

Sales rep:  How is it now with some sparkles?

Everyone loved it.  It was THE dress.

Except it was over budget by $200.  So, they asked the mother if maybe she could find a different mother of the bride dress so they could afford the bride's dress.

And the big answer was no.

So they both left without a dress.  Because they were $200 over budget and the mother wouldn't find a different dress for herself.


If the mother had changed her dress, they would have been able to keep everything on budget.  Instead, if she couldn't have her dress, ain't nobody gettin' any dresses.

She didn't say those words, but that was the attitude.

My chin hit the floor.

Linking here: 


  1. I've never even heard of that show, so now I totally want to go check it out.

  2. Are you kidding? UGH! I had to stop watching Say Yes to the Dress b/c I mostly just wanted to kill all the wedding parties ... which I guess isn't in the spirit of holy matrimony. That mama takes the cake, though.

  3. I have watched that show several times...but missed this particular episode. Geez...some of the folks on there are just unbelievable. Your way of telling the story is hilarious. Found your wonderful blog via The Meet and Greet Blog Hop. Following you now. Hope you can drop by my blog as well. Looking forward to reading more of your funny posts.

    Anne Marie


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