Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Steve and Rene Duking It Out In My Pants

If you've been paying any blogtention to what I post, you might know that I have issues with underwear.  I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but I have had far too many pair of underwear just disintegrate before my eyes lately.  I would blame it on the laundry soap, but it's only my underwear that is being attacked by whatever it is that eats through them until you could read a newspaper through them and then there's a hole.  And unlike some, I refuse to wear underwear that has holes unless the holes occur as I wear them and I have to wait until the end of the day(like in my brand new pair the other day).

My dilemma is that I am very particular about how they fit and I have a hard time finding underwear that make me happy.  Must be cotton, can't be thongs, no granny panties, many rules.  Oh and most especially, NOT BLACK.  We aren't sure why, by my sisters and I remember my mother always saying you can't wear underwear that has a black crotch, so we are afraid to.

A long time ago, I was introduced to the Rene Rofe line of underwear.  You might also know them as Rene Rafe.  I know them as Filene's Basement's best kind of underwear. You buy them in packages of 6, right at the checkout, and they are just perfect.  They fit great.  They last forever.  They are stylish.  Then our Filene's Basement closed.  That was truly a tragic day because I didn't know that no one else on earth, including the Rene whatever company themselves, sells these things!  But, I had plenty, so I was fine.  Until about a year ago when they all started falling apart at once.

So  it became a mission that when one of us was near a Filene's Basement, we'd look for them.  We even made a special stop when I went to help my sister a-ster move.  They had the brand, but only in some terrible style and size large of what I needed.  I need small.  So sad.  But I did get an awesome shirt that day, so it was worth it.  My sister e-ster found them but they had 2 pair of black, so I only ended up with 4.  And they didn't fit so well.  The elastic was weird.  And I've had them like 6 months and they are starting to ruin.  Then I made a trip to the big city a few weeks ago  and lo and behold, they had them!  In ridiculous colors, but they had them!  So I bought one package.  For $9.99.  I think they used to be $6.99.  So when I took them out, I knew right away they were no good.  Each pair was cut completely differently and of the 6 pair, only one felt really good.  So sad.  And one completely fell apart the other day so by the end of the afternoon, I had a giant hole on one side.

So, Rene?  Ummm we're through.  I put up with a lot of shenanigans with you, but you've disappointed me twice, so we're all done.

Ladies, let's welcome Steve.  I have no idea who makes Steve.  They had them at TJ Maxx.  So I took a risk and bought 2 pair.  HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO Steve!!  You are my new favorite brand.  I promise I will try to take care of you.  And maybe I will stop doing whatever it is that makes all of my underwear wear out.  Perhaps I'm wearing pants that have zippers that rub on them and wear them out?  I'll be careful....I bought 2 and of course, there are no more.  Perhaps I need to stop buying my underwear at outlets and closeout places so I can actually go back and buy more when I want them and not get the miscut knock offs.  But who will spend 6-10 dollars on underwear???  That falls apart anyway because something is eating at them??? Not me!!!

My mother always gives us underwear in our stockings, yes, even in our 30s, so I've had a great supply until now.  It seems since last Christmas, I have had just about every pair "wear out" and have had to replace them and very few actually please me.  But now I have Steve.  A white Steve and a pink Steve.  And the pink is just the best shade of pink.  It makes me so happy to wear that color.

Although today, I think I noticed that they say St. Eve but that little dot is so tiny and the words are smooshed together, so it reads like Steve.  So now I get to snicker every time I go to the bathroom because I thought my underwear said Steve.That's probably how they made it to TJMaxx.  Too many ladies freaked out to wear Steve underwear.

Rene's history, I'm all about Steve.

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