Sunday, January 2, 2011

5 Days of Christmas

This is a gift that I did not receive, but forgot to give!  On almost every Christmas that I can remember, my mother has stopped and said "I thought I had something else for you, but I can't find it!".  She used to hide presents so we wouldn't find them and then she'd hide them so well, she couldn't find them!

This year, it was my turn.  I not only didn't give these, I forgot I even owned them!  So, I didn't even get the chance to say "I know I have something else for you but I can't find it!" I remembered about 2 days ago and then had no idea where I might have put them.  They were meant to be funny but also serious.  They are THE GIFT THAT SOLVES ALL ARGUMENTS.  I know you're thinking they are just harmless pocket calendars, what magical powers can they hold?  VERY magical powers.  We recently learned that for years, my mother has kept one of these little things for the year and has written down things that seem important.  This summer, the whole stack of them was brought out more than once to try to place events that happened in the 90s that we all swore took place at different times.  It is amazing what you can learn from a little 1" x 1" square. It can be something as simple as marking the day a trip started, to when a procedure/diagnosis took place, to when something significant was cleaned out, to people who were visiting in the park.  The small square is just right because you have to be brief and to the point so it will fit.  The whole point of pocket calendars is not to take up too much space.

After being amazed by these little books, my sisters and I decided they hold all of the power in the universe.  Forget googling something or looking it up somewhere online.  Go get the pocket calendar and set everyone straight.  So, when these were available this year, I bought them as a joke to give to a-ster and e-ster for Christmas.  And then I lost them.  So, when they get them this week, the first thing they should note is that I lost them and they weren't able to record important events for the first days of 2011.  I look forward to decades from now when we can each whip out our stack and prove someone wrong reminisce properly.

THE GIFT THAT SOLVES ALL ARGUMENTS should not be carried around in a purse.  It must be put in a holy shrine known as a drawer where all future pocket calendars will also be kept.  Along with other crap that gets thrown into the drawer.  However, we should note that a big deal about these treasures should not be made.  They are meant to be filled out and stored away, pretty much forgotten about, only to be unveiled when no proper consensus can be reached about when something took place.

I'll just have to be sure I know where I put mine so I can whip them out at any moment.

Tune in tomorrow for gift #4 A TISKET A TASKET.

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