Friday, January 14, 2011

Feel Good Friday- Best So Far

It's Feel Good Friday and I have some great moments to share.  Go visit thegirl and link up your own Feel Good Friday when you're done reading mine!!

1.  So, 2 weeks ago, I had to go to the Boobologist for a baseline mammogram.  Ugh.  The 30s are not a fun decade.  Blood pressure worries.  Now a mammogram.  Not because anything felt wrong but because they like a baseline.  So I made the appointment ages ago and then it snuck up on me.  At 6pm one night.  It took like 20 minutes and was a breeze.  It's digital, so apparently not as painful as the other kind.  And much more modern.  My doctor told me I could go to several places that but the Breast Care Center would have digital mammography.  Well, who WOULDN'T choose the most modern???

So, it was relatively painfree and kind of surreal.  She was excited to only take 6 pictures instead of 8.  She reeked of peppers and onions.  And wanted to know all about Gwenstopher.  They don't fool me when they take such an interest in you or your pet.  It's all about distraction.  I'm no dummie.  She ended with the fact that 90% of people have to come back in for more screening because they need that for the baseline, so DO NOT BE ALARMED.  I only need to hear those 4 words to become VERY ALARMED.  She ended with "I mean, if it was something HORREDOUS, they'd call you right away, but otherwise, just wait for the results in the mail."  A direct quote, I swear.  Great bedside manner.  OH GREAT.  I spent each day for a few days worried when the phone rang.  After about a week, I decided it was nothing "HORRENDOUS", so I forgot about it.

Until the snow day.  Thankfully, I went to the mail later in the day, or I would never have accomplished anything that day.  The pink paper (that is a little trite, isn't it?) said to come back for more images and that it was PROBABLY NORMAL, so DO NOT BE ALARMED.  Cue VERY ALARMED FACE AND BODILY REACTIONS- racing heart, shaking, worry, stomach ache.

I didn't like the appointment time, so I called to reschedule.  The girl was so nice, accommodating my every need, and we determined that today was perfect because it's a professional day of workshops, not kids, so I could miss the afternoon.  And otherwise, my choice was in February and though she said I could wait, it was with caution that she said "I mean, it doesn't matter to me, you can wait if you want.  It's all what you're comfortable with."  Oh, umm I'm comfortable with a world that doesn't have disease, thanks.  

Many scenarios played in my head over the last 48 hours.  Knowing I feel nothing bizarre, my doctor wasn't worried when she saw me in September and there were no calls of the HORRENDOUS nature did nothing to alleviate the imaginings I was able to produce.

At last it was time.  So, I arrived a little early and was taken right in.  This time, a different woman did the images and she was ultra serious and didn't care about me or my cat.  She started with something about why I needed to come back in, didnt' say it was normal, and that we'll see what the radiologist says after that.  She was quick, didn't smell like food and quiet.  This time, it wasn't the 6, it was just 4, but of particular areas.  Dun dun dun.

Then I had to sit and wait for 15 minutes, so I crocheted my brains out.  Another woman came in and said the radiologist would like me to have an ultrasound, so could I go with her.  Yes, this had been mentioned as a possible part of the "normal" routine, but I wasn't buying it.  In I went to this room that they tried to make very cheerful.  And cozy.  Though with lots of birdhouses painted on the wall and that didn't make me too happy.  And she began to do the ultrasound, going over the same places over and over.  And making my heart rate just fly right up.  Then she did the other side, so I at least felt like maybe nothing was weird.  Maybe just some dense fibers.  I am a pretty solid person, so dense tissue wouldn't surprise me at all.  And I dont' have big bazoongas, so I can't imagine there's much room in there, so everything must be dense.  BUt this side required her to dim the lights and do a lot of squinting at the screen.  Not a feel good moment.

And it got worse when she said she'd go show them to him to see if he wants more but she hurried out of the room and banged the door.  I really hate birdhouses on the wall and that's what I had to look at for a few minutes.  Imagining all sorts of things in my head.  

I guess she's just a door banger because she banged back in and gave me a paper that says everything is dandy and I'm all set to go.  Phew.  What a sigh of relief.  What a pain in the ass.

So, Breast Care Center?  Let me make a suggestion.  Since you claim 90% of your patients have to come back for more images when getting a baseline, how 'bout you schedule them for 2 visits to begin with.  And you don't tell them that the 2nd one is a normal follow up.  You just make it standard that you have 2 visits.  And then if they see everything clearly the first time, you call that lucky 10% back and say "hey, you've got nice boobs, dont' come back for a year.  And go play the lottery!"  This way, people like me wont' get all worked up about receiving the notice to come back.  And you'll save a lot of paper, time, postage and ink because you won't have to send out those follow up letters.

And you can still tell people in between the visits that if anything HORRENDOUS is on the images, they'll call right away.  Oh, maybe that would make it scary to be the 10% who has great first time images and gets the call not to come in for round 2 because they look great.  But, scaring 10% seems a lot nicer to me than scaring 90% of your patients, doesn't it?  You could send those 10% a singing tellegram like this":
da da da da da da:
about your recent test
you have no cancer in the breast
so jump and cheer
see you next year!

You're welcome.

2.  On a much lighter and more fun note, my 8th graders My Impression of Impressionism project made the paper and there's a picture of some kids and me and a great article.  Except she was a little dramatic with this quote "If you don’t understand French, you don’t have a prayer of passing"  Not really.  So, which one is me?

3.  We had a fun supper of pizza last night with j-ster, j-ster and c-ster.  J-ster is very funny now that he's 1.5 and he loves my braided rug that I made.  Something about the colors, I think.  When he was crawling, he would sit on it.  And one time, I pulled it toward me with him on it and gave him a ride.  He remembered.  And now I have to do it over and over.  That's not going to last much longer as he gets bigger.  But he was having a blast last night.  They went sledding the other day and he loved it, so I am sure he thought this was like sledding.  Only without the bulky clothes and runny nose!

4.  I've booked 2 lia sophia shows this week and February is looking great.  It always happens that when it seems like I'm out of shows, someone books out of the blue and saves my ass.  This is not how they recommend that you do business and they would croak if they knew what a back seat I take.  But this is not my full time job, it's just for fun money.  So, I let it do its thing.  I don't recruit.  FOR SHAME.  And I don't bug people.  NO WAY.  And I don't always remember to wear jewelry.  SAY IT'S NOT TRUE.  But I like it and it's great extra income.  Go see my All That Glitters page if you want to know more and get a deal!

5.  I had a snow day this week and it was so productive!  I recommend having at least one per month.  Something about an unscheduled day off leads to great things.  Like solving a mystery on my serger that I've never been able to solve.  And making pillows I've been meaning to make since I made the new curtains last February!  And cleaning and cleaning.

That's it folks.


  1. That does seem silly to freak people out about coming in for more images!

  2. "Boobologist"- you are hysterical! Thank you for writing this!
    Kerry at HouseTalkN


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