Saturday, January 1, 2011

6 Days of Christmas

Wow, the week is winding down way too fast.  Back to school on Monday.  People keep asking me about my school vacation.  Do people really think I usually get like a month off?  I can't tell you how many people have seemed surprised that it was just one week plus 1 day this year.  I know there were times, when I first started teaching, that we had a full 2 weeks because they thought it would save money on heating fuel, but those days are long gone.  I always have a hard time adjusting to the vacation week because I never know where to start with my little projects that I pile up to do during the vacation.  And then it's over and it's Saturday and I'm running around doing what I always do on Saturdays.  Like trying to get a million things graded.  Didn't I have all week???  This one is inconvenient/convenient because they created photostories about impressionists and posted them here.  A brilliant scheme I devised last year but a project that seems to take 11.5 years to accomplish.   Some are impressive, some are awful and some are somewhere in between.  I thought it would be great because I'd just evaluate them at my leisure.  Yeah, right.  Instead, I go online and prefer to play with blogs or check my email or watch paint dry.

Anyway, I didn't call you here to whine about my vacation ending.  I'm sure you didn't even get a vacation, so I should be grateful.  Today is day 6 in the 12 days of Christmas chapter of my blog.  Brought to you today by SEW MUCH CREATIVITY, WHO CAN STAND IT?  Do you know what this is?  Maybe this is why we do so much explaining of our gifts on Christmas.  Not for the receiver but for everyone else who's like "why is THAT exciting?".  Does the clue help you at all?  It's a presser foot for my sewing machine.  Yawn, so what?  But it's for QUILTING!!!  It has a little spring action so it hops up and down and lets you quilt with abandon.  I wouldn't attempt quilting an actual bed quilt with my machine because that would be way too big and cumbersome.   You really need a quilting machine for that.  But I will do baby quilts and other things.  For those who sew and know what I'm talking about, I've been experimenting with quilt as you go, which allows you to quilt the squares before you assemble them.  It's really fascinating and works, but it's a mental leap I have to take every time I do it. Kind of like using my blind hem foot.  I can do it and the results are fantastic, but I have to sit and pretend to do it over and over before I actually put the material through the machine because I never really believe it will work.  This will be really neat for quilting as I go.

For those who know what a walking foot is, you will be amused at this little nugget.  For some reason, I had the idea that the walking foot allows you to drop the feed dogs and move the fabric all over in a quilting style.  I know, the walking foot's purpose is to hold down the material so it doesn't shift while you're trying to do something(it walks along the fabric so you don't end up with the top or the bottom bunched and shifted), so this make no sense at all.  But I thought if the feed dogs were out of the way, maybe it wouldn't walk so heavily.  I swear I saw someone do it on tv once.  My mother cracked up and suggested I put on a pair of heavy boots and then try to tap dance because that would be the same thing.

I haven't complained about much recently, so I will share yesterday's annoyance.  Joann Fabrics is about the only place around where I get my crafting and sewing supplies.  There are quilt stores but they charge crazy amounts of money for their fabrics and they look at you like you have NO CLUE what you're doing and I find that off putting.  I know the fabric quality is better, and maybe my quilts would last longer than when I make them from the lower quality fabric at Joann Fabrics, but I don't like to spend money.  And only one person has ever called to tell me that a quilt was falling apart and I fixed it for her.

Anyway.  We have a Michael's that just opened and we have AC Moore but they are all craft oriented and a little further down the road, so Joann Fabrics is my go to place. But it's a mess.  Too crowded with crap.  The ladies are often not nice because they are overworked. Right now, they have a flier that says EVERY SKEIN OF YARN ON SALE!  I'm in the process of crocheting a sweater out of some really great yarn that is 70% bamboo and 30% silk.  I really, really, really like how it makes up.  It's got a little weight but it looks airy and I think I'm going to love this sweater.  As usual, I have no clue how much yarn I will need, so I figured I'd get a couple more skeins of it while it's on sale, they have a 10% off you entire order coupon and before they run out and forget to order more.  This last one is a constant in my life.  I never get enough material, yarn, what have you.

So, I found 3 skeins of this yarn and brought it to the counter and she noted it didn't come up on sale.  I pointed to the flier right there and reminded her that every skein of yarn is on sale.

"Oh," she and her comrade behind the counter said "that's not yarn, so I don't think it's on sale."

"Really?  It's in the yarn section, how is it not yarn?  It's made by Paton's, see here the website www.patonsyarns.com"

She and her comrade tried to explain to dumb me that it wasn't really yarn.  Just like the Sugar and Cream cotton yarn isn't really yarn either.

"But it says right here, EVERY SKEIN OF YARN ON SALE and the Sugar and Cream IS on sale, it's just on a different page"

"Yes, but that's because it's a stock up sale, let me see... (screams into her lapel mic) I have a customer here questioning why the bamboo isn't on sale?"

"That's because it's not yarn" I hear yelled back through her little ear piece.  And the comrade behind her seconds that over her shoulder.

I'm really not quick speaking on my feet, and I tend to say nothing when I'm thinking way too much.  I'm thinking(I think in pink):

Really, you expect me to believe that polyesters and acrylics are yarns but bamboo and silk and cotton aren't? 

When it says EVERY SKEIN on sale, I'm supposed to believe that skeins of natural materials are excepted?  But you count 100% wool as part of the yarn collection?

Shall we call it thread then,  because I see that every thread is 50% off. 

I'm not moving until something is done or I leave empty handed because you are all completely ridiculous.

So, my cashier and her mystery voice continue going back and forth about yarn and not yarn and all vs. not all while I stand there.  Each time I open my mouth, not to yell, but to ask a question, I get a hand in my face explaining that "she will FIX it".  She being the mystery voice, I guess. So, I was ready to stand there all day to see what "fix" she was going to give me.  Then she disappeared, to speak to the Wizard, I am certain.  I kind of forget, but I think while she was gone, the other woman behind the counter continued to tell me that bamboo isn't yarn.  Like she was mumbling it, not really saying it to me.

Finally, my lady returned in a huff and told me

"This is what I'm going to do for you.  (did I just enter a scene from the Godfather?)   I'm not supposed to do it this way, but I will ring up each skein (hee hee, is that  skein of YARN???  See, that's me thinking in pink) at 40%, like you have a coupon.  Will THAT make you happy".

"Of course that will make me happy."

"I told you bamboo wasn't on sale because it's not yarn" says the other lady, mostly under her breath but loud enough that I feel like I'm the one in trouble. 

But I hadn't even had the chance to be  a nasty customer asking for special favors.  I just wanted to know why they think that yarn isn't yarn.  And she proceeded to tell me no less than 4 more times that this is NOT the way that headquarters would like them to do this.  Well, then headquarters needs to get their heads out of their asses and realize that if you call it yarn one day, you have to call it yarn on the day that you claim that every skein of yarn is on sale!! And I think I was supposed to bow and thank her more profusely, but I thought saying thank you once was sufficient. The funny part is that after all that, I might not even need those extra skeins!

Tune in tomorrow for gift #5 of 12 days of Christmas.  I call this one:  THE GIFT THAT SOLVES ALL ARGUMENTS.  I guess I should have had that one with me at Joann Fabrics!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, those ladies at JoAnn's are super fun. I had the same issue with something I was getting framed one time. It kind of seems like they make up their own rules.

    And kudos to you with all your quilting and feet and skeins and such. I can not sew a button. Seriously. I cry if I have to try and thread a needle. Luckily, my husband is a fierce seamstress (and a good cook), so our buttons get sewn back on thankfully.

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